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Thursday
Aug222019

Who Should Run the Home?

בהמשך למה שנדבר בחדרי:

בודאי שההתנהגות צ”ל ע”פ [=צריכה להיות על פי] הוראת חז”ל, והתנהגות זו היא גם לטובתו הגשמית של המתנהג, ולא רק – הרוחנית.

וכיון שאחז”ל [=שאמרו חז”ל] שבמילי דעלמא צריך להתחשב עם דעת האשה – לכן בעניני הנהגת והתיקונים של הבית – צ”ל ע”פ [=צריכה להיות על פי] דעת זוג’ תי’.

[וכמובן שצריך לעשות זה – מתוך שמחה, כיון שזהו דעת חז”ל].

ופשוט שלא זו הדרך ללחוץ עלי’ שבעל כרחה תסכים – על מה שלא רצתה מקודם.

כן פשוט – שגדלות האדם האמתית היא – מילוי שליחותו והנהגה הגורמת נח”ר להאנשים במשפחתו וסביבתו (ולא – איבערשפרינגען יענעם בענינים טפלים, או ביופי הבית וכיו”ב).

וכשתחזור זוג’ תי’ – יסבירה שעושה כל הנ”ל בשמחה וטוב לבב. ושבזמנו הפנוי – ישתדל לעזור לה בעניני הבית. וכן ישתדל לדבר עם הילדים שי’ במה שלמדו וכו’. 

 

In continuation of what was discussed when the two of you were in my room:

Certainly, the conduct must be based on the directives of Chazal. This behavior is also best for the physical wellbeing of the one following it, not only his spiritual benefit.

Since Chazal say that in worldly (physical) matters, one must take into consideration his wife’s opinion – therefore in matters of conducting and renovating the home – you should follow the opinion of your wife תחי’. [Obviously, this should be done happily, as this is the opinion of Chazal].

It simply goes without saying that it is not the proper way to put pressure on her to agree, against her will, to something she didn’t want at first.

It is also simply understood that the true greatness of man is to fulfill his mission and to act in a way that pleases the people of his family and in his surroundings (and not to “overpower” the other in trivialities or in the beauty of the house, etc.).

…When your wife returns, explain to her that you are doing all the above happily and with gladness of the heart, and that in your free time you will try to help her with housework, and you will also try to speak to the children ’שי about what they learned in school, etc.

 

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