UNFORGETTABLE PRAYER

PART I

The Chassid, R’ Pesach Malastovker, who was known by the name of the city he came from, was a great Chassid. He was an extraordinary amkan (deep thinker) in Chassidus, an oveid (one who toils in prayer and self-correction), and someone with elevated character traits. He used his deep grasp to delve into drushei Chassidus and maamarim that he heard from our Rebbeim.

R’ Pesach had the merit to see and bask in the presence of four of our Rebbeim, starting with the Alter Rebbe. In his time, he was one of the younger Chassidim. Then he was a Chassid of the Mitteler Rebbe and one of the elder Chassidim during the nesius of the Tzemach Tzedek. In the final five years of his life, he was mekushar to the Rebbe Maharash.

He was sharp-witted; every rationale that he came up with was immediately demolished because of a deeper reasoning. He could sit for hours and delve into Chassidic ideas, to analyze and contemplate them. They say that one time he entered the zal in Lubavitch and suddenly stood in his place and gazed at the clock on the wall. He just stood there and looked and thought. Afterward, he turned to R’ Nachum the (Tzemach Tzedek’s) chozer and said, “Just now, the discourse that I heard from the Rebbe five years ago became clear to me.”

The depth with which he was gifted was also used for the service of t’filla. Every day he spent hours davening to the point of exhaustion, investing all his strength to cleave to his Maker in uncompromising avodas Hashem.

Despite his mighty spiritual greatness, R’ Pesach did not serve as rav in his town. This was apparently because of his modesty, an area in which he was outstanding. For a few years he was a teacher of young bachurim, until the day that he was told by the Tzemach Tzedek to serve as mashpia in his town. Some sources indicate that he made a living from millstones that he owned with which he ground flour for the people of his town.

In his work as mashpia he saw great success. “R’ Pesach Malastovker’s explanations in maamarei Chassidus were primarily on the topic of creation ex nihilo and the nullification of the ‘yesh’ (substance of existence) to the ‘ayin’ (the higher abstract reality that transcends existence), and the subject of the nullification of the worlds,” said the mashpia, R’ Shmuel Gronem Esterman. When R’ Pesach spoke about yesh m’ayin, he would manage to get his listeners to see it, so that they could see how the yesh becomes alive through the G-dly ayin.

Some Chassidim whispered that R’ Pesach was on the spiritual level that bordered on ruach ha’kodesh. This assessment was based on several incidents in which he unwittingly revealed this fact. One time, when he stood and prayed, not far from him stood a young bachur who, it seems, was thinking inappropriate thoughts. R’ Pesach immediately sensed this and reproached the bachur, “Your extraneous thoughts do not allow me to pray!”

Another time, he was sitting at the Purim meal with Chassidim when he suddenly loudly said, “Oy, what’s with my Berel?” He said nothing further and those present did not understand what he meant. It was only hours later that they learned that at that moment, his son Berel was traveling to the town and as he passed through a forest he was attacked by a bandit, who began to beat Berel in order to take away his money. Berel did not remain passive and being a strong man, he returned the blows until the bandit had to run for his life. They figured out that the father cried out precisely while Berel was fighting for his life with his bare hands against a bandit who wanted his money and his life.

They also said that every Erev Shabbos before Mincha, souls from the World of Truth came to him for rectification. He would send them to his close friend, R’ Hillel of Paritch.

Despite his lofty level, R’ Pesach was sensitive and alert to things around him.

PART II

It seemed to be an ordinary day when R’ Pesach was walking down the street in Malastovka. He was meditating on Chassidus, as usual, going aloft in his thoughts to the sublime realms of s’firos, and connecting deeply to the lofty spiritual levels that occupied his mind.

Suddenly, he heard a choked cry. It was the cry of a Jewish girl who was walking on the street. The coarse hands of a marauding soldier held her in a terrifying iron grip. Without hesitating, he sprang toward the soldier, grabbed his hand and kept striking it until the man had to release the girl. She took the opportunity to escape, pale and breathless. She managed to reach a hiding place and hid there until the danger had passed.

When R’ Pesach saw that the girl had fled, he realized the danger he was in: a weak Jew facing a brawny soldier, a two-legged beast. When the soldier was distracted for a moment, R’ Pesach ran away.

He knew that the soldier would not swallow his shame and that he was liable to come and look for him. So he ran up to the attic of his house where he squeezed himself under an overturned barrel. He hid there and hoped nothing bad would happen to him.

As he thought would happen, not long afterward, he could hear the sound of nailed boots of soldiers on the street leading to his house. Within a short time, the door was forced open and in came a group of soldiers led by the offended soldier. They had searched unsuccessfully for him in several places, but one of the townsmen had revealed where the Chassid’s house was, the Chassid who had risked his life to save an innocent Jewish girl.

The soldiers began turning over the furniture in order to find the “criminal” who had dared to challenge their colleague. They left nothing in its place. They kicked his belongings, ruined his furniture, and vented their anger on whatever they saw.

One of the soldiers went up to the attic and looked there, but did not find him. He was so furious that he took an iron bar with a lead spike on top and in his rage, smashed it into whatever he saw. He also struck the barrel under which R’ Pesach was hiding. The weak wood of the barrel could not withstand the blow and the iron spike penetrated and hit R’ Pesach on the head with a near deathly blow.

Because of his prodigious intellectual abilities, R’ Pesach was able to refrain from uttering a sound. He bit his lips and prayed that this would be the end of the matter and the soldiers would leave. The upper part of the barrel fell apart into smithereens that went every which way, but the soldier did not bother looking in.

The soldiers, who did not find what they were looking for, left the house in a fury.

R’ Pesach remained under the barrel for a while until he was sure the soldiers had left. Only then did he allow himself to get out from under the barrel and treat his bloody head. With the devoted care of his family, the blood flow was stanched. It took another few days and the blow to his head healed bit by bit.

However, the most serious blow was to his memory. He was devastated to discover that due to the blow, he had lost his memory, that memory that had contained hundreds of deep maamarei Chassidus, pearls of sichos that he heard from the Rebbeim and a vast sea of Torah study that he learned over the years.

Seeing that there was no cure for this, he traveled to Lubavitch to the Tzemach Tzedek. The Rebbe gave him a special bracha and his memory miraculously returned. There was nobody happier than R’ Pesach, when all the Torah he toiled over, through the years, was restored to him and once again, he could delve into lofty Chassidic ideas and immerse himself in the subtleties of the higher worlds and the s’firos.

PART III

A few years passed and life continued in normal fashion. It was a spring day in Nissan 5626. Spring blossoms began budding in Malastovka though mud was still everywhere. R’ Pesach was sitting with his students, teaching them Chassidus. With his face aflame, he delved deeply with explanations into the small, crowded lines of handwritten maamarim of the Rebbeim, the joy of his life.

Suddenly his face contorted in great pain.

“Oy, Rebbe!” he shouted.

He grasped his head with both hands, as though trying to keep himself from keeling over. His students looked at him with mouths agape, in shock and stunned silence.

It did not take long for the realization to set in that the Attribute of Judgment had struck R’ Pesach, and in shocking fashion he once again lost his power of memory. All his learning disappeared into the abyss in one wave of pain; an endless black hole had opened in a fleeting instant.

A few days passed, and it was discovered that at that exact moment the soul of the Rebbe, the Tzemach Tzedek, had departed this earthly plane for the high heavens. The community of Lubavitch Chassidim were left orphaned and devastated, like sheep without a shepherd. The mourning of R’ Pesach was doubled, as it became clear that the blessing of the Rebbe which had accompanied him to that point, was in effect only until that day. With the departure of the Rebbe, his blessing had departed as well.

From then until his dying day, R’ Pesach suffered from forgetfulness. There was no limit to his deep pain, and yet, despite that, he never allowed despair to plunge him into depression. On the contrary, each morning he would come to shul, and after the lengthy preparations that he would carry out, he would begin to daven slowly and deliberately, as he had done his entire life.

And yet, at the conclusion of his davening, which took many hours, he would take his t’fillin and put them on again, and begin davening as if he had not yet davened. Apparently, he would even forget that he had davened. The people in the shul, who were well aware of the lofty stature of this great Chassid, would gently remind him that he had already davened and that there was no need for him to do so again. R’ Pesach would scrutinize their faces to ascertain that they were being truthful, and only after he was convinced of their sincerity would he concede to them.

Once, one of the locals worked up the courage to ask him about this. R’ Pesach answered him, “Perhaps I forgot that I already davened today, but I will never forget that davening is something that I have to do!”

R’ Pesach, a man who was known for his prodigious and penetrating mind, continued to live in this state for another five years, until his passing in the month of Kislev 5631.