UNDER THE RADAR: YOUNG SHLUCHOS

Fraidy Orgad (Romania), Mushka Lerner (Eretz Yisroel), Yocheved Raskin (Uganda): three young shluchos describe their early days on shlichus, which were not particularly inviting nor a bed of roses, and share the challenges they dealt with and the surprising insights they have come to. * A peek into the early days of small shlichus positions. 

By Mussie Jerufy

TOP LEFT: Chabad in Beer Yaakov TOP RIGHT: Chabad in Bucharest BOTTOM: Chabad in Uganda(NOT) A SOFT LANDING

Fraidy Orgad, a shlucha in Bucharest, Romania for three and a half years, describes the early days on shlichus:

“We arrived in Bucharest in the summer, a week before the school year began. Since we came to an established place of shlichus, we didn’t feel we had landed in a desolate place where we had to start from scratch. The first shluchim, the Deitschs, took care of everything. At first, we lived in a residential hotel relatively distant from the shul, which made it hard for us on Shabbos, especially since we had little children who complained the entire way about their feet hurting them; but we couldn’t carry. And of course, the very fact that I had left Eretz Yisroel to live here, in order to live here forever, weighed heavily on me. But we soon realized we had to come to a good place and the concerns began to fade.”

Mushka Lerner, who went on shlichus four years ago to the Talmei Menashe neighborhood in Beer Yaakov, said:

“We started our shlichus close to Purim, which thrust us immediately into active Chabad House mode. We went door to door in the building and gave out mishloach manos, which gave us the opportunity to meet the people in the neighborhood and introduce ourselves.

“Then we organized for Pesach, doing mivtza matza etc. Although the holiday activities helped establish us, it was all terribly new, with a general feeling of just getting started. I felt that we weren’t doing enough and that made me feel down. When I discussed this with my husband, he said that just my being here already makes an impact on the place, and this gave me a lot of chizuk. With time, I saw how personal contact expands the sphere of influence and every little action creates a fruitful chain reaction of activities.”

Yocheved Raskin fulfilled her childhood dream of starting a Chabad House from nothing, when she went on shlichus to Kampala, the capitol of Uganda, just over half a year ago. She describes the initial period as not easy at all:

“We arrived ten days before Rosh HaShana and the pressure was on. We lived for a few days in the home of a local, religious Jew, until we found an apartment and the situation stabilized, relatively speaking. I felt overwhelmed when it registered that we had moved to live here for good. I suddenly realized that a new chapter in my life had begun.”

INITIAL CHALLENGES

What were the main challenges that you had to deal with when you began?

“A few days after I arrived, I started working as a preschool teacher,” said Fraidy. “The difficulty in adapting to the style of the school and the way that it was being run, along with a general lack of relating to the job, made it hard for me to throw myself into it, to the point that I thought I’d leave. But at a certain point, I decided that from my end this would be one of the goals that I’d invest in, like my other activities here. I changed my approach and my way of thinking, and everything changed. A year later, I taught first grade and threw myself into it and saw the results. Today, I am the number one fan of the entire school.

“Another challenge I had was in my work with college students. At first, I was sure the students were waiting for us to come and were out there on the steps, looking for me; which did not happen. On the contrary, barely ten of them came to the first event we did. We were in shock. It was years that there was nothing for students. So when we arrived, it didn’t interest them, especially since most of them did not seem particularly involved with Judaism.”

Fraidy remembers a spontaneous conversation she had with a veteran student, a few months after arriving in Bucharest, which led to a significant change in her relationship with the students.

“I spoke with a sweet student in her fifth year about how we were planning activities for the students. She tried to dissuade me by saying nobody would come and it was a waste of energy. I realized I had two options, to take one step back or to go in, full-force. I decided to prove to her that she was wrong. In the end, she turned into one of my best friends, and it was thanks to her that we met other students and the outreach to them took off.”

Yocheved describes the feelings of loneliness as the main difficulty for her. “It’s a terrible feeling of isolation that’s hard to describe. Since we went on shlichus with one little child, my conscience bothered me when I saw him growing up without any friends and cut off from the family he was so attached to. I spoke about this with a shlucha that I met before going off to Africa and she said that the children of shluchim are not regular children; they’re a different breed.

“In addition, for me, the acclimation and knowing I had left my family behind and was starting a new chapter in my life was not at all simple.”

Although shlichus in Eretz Yisroel sounds easier than shlichus abroad, Mushka emphasizes that it has its difficulties too. “We went on shlichus as a young couple, without children, so I found myself alone on those first Shabbos days. I prepared a full stock of books and sichos to read to pass the time. The loneliness in a new neighborhood that isn’t religious, without friends or acquaintances, wasn’t at all pleasant.

“Since I grew up in a chareidi environment, it was hard for me to accept the differences and the conflicts that I encountered. I was unfamiliar with this reality.

“You would think that kashrus wouldn’t be a problem in Eretz Yisroel, but in our area it is hard to obtain a mehudar kashrus on basic items, which means we have to go shopping in nearby cities. It requires planning and organization. I have to prepare well in advance because of the lack of readily accessible products. On shlichus, things build up slowly. You need to take a deep breath and be patient. At first, it all looks like little activities, but slowly, you see that something big was constructed here. Looking back, I can’t believe where we were at the beginning and what has happened since.”

CONSULTING WITH OTHERS

As newcomers, is there someone that you consult with?

Mushka: “In the beginning, I consulted a lot with a woman who is a role model for me, even though she is not a shlucha. She is full of wisdom, with the ability to encourage and advise. One of the points for which I needed chizuk and advice was regarding the ego. Does a failure in shlichus reflect on me and my abilities? It took me time to internalize that I am only a conduit. If the person I’m trying to reach is not yet ready, that doesn’t necessarily mean I failed. My goal as a shlucha is to do what I can do without beating myself up about results. They are not always apparent. I think that this type of support is lacking, especially for young shluchos.”

Fraidy, who is on shlichus with other shluchim, says: “The first shlucha and I fully collaborate. Even with events that we each do separately, she and I exchange our thoughts and hesitations.”

Yocheved: “I have spoken with quite a few shluchos to get chizuk and to consult with those with experience. I came to the conclusion that in the end, as much support as they offer, it’s my decision how I choose to live my life on shlichus. If I see the good in what Hashem gave me and internalize what a great privilege it is to be part of the army of shluchim and I choose to be happier, then my life on shlichus will be the best possible. It’s all in my hands.

“In addition, I have a good friend who also went on shlichus recently and it’s only natural for me to share my experiences and difficulties. We are in the same boat. But there is chizuk that only experienced shluchos with a lengthy resume can provide. It’s important to have someone like that to turn to.”

SHLICHUS TODAY

Do you think it is easier to be shluchos in 5778 than in the past?

Fraidy: “As a shlucha who works with Israelis, some from traditional homes, the main difficulty is with kiruv. There is much assimilation here and it’s a battle. This is the main challenge, to try and reach them. The technical difficulties like kosher food, mikva, etc. are less intense than in the past.” 

Fraidy told me of her creative attempts to get some basic Judaism through to them, like the Shabbaton weekend that they did a year ago. “Since few students lit candles on the Shabbasos we made in the early years, I decided to get my little daughter involved. She became the ‘Shabbos mommy.’ On the trip to the Shabbaton, she gave out Neshek kits that we prepared and invited the students to join the candle lighting. They all lit. That showed me that it’s always possible; you just need to find the way. That’s the challenge.”

Yocheved: “Since I went on shlichus to a third world country, an undeveloped place, I feel a bit like those shluchim who went out decades ago. Financially, it’s difficult too, since we haven’t established ourselves financially yet. This prevents me from being relaxed enough to focus on developing the place. We are forced to work on all fronts simultaneously. Technology definitely helps and makes it significantly easier for us, which the shluchim previously did not have. We can call our families every day. I speak with my family via video, which is great.”

Mushka: “When on shlichus, as the Rebbe says, you need to learn the customs of the place. Of course, there is no comparison between the customs of the place in 5778 to what was done previously. The world has moved on. Aside from the technological advancement, which contributes so much, awareness of Judaism has grown, and the messages are more widespread and exposed. We are in the midst of the process leading to Geula and each passing year gets us closer to the goal. Even those who are seemingly far want to know and get involved. The Rebbe always said to look at Jews as believers. Each one has a G-dly soul and our job is to awaken and reveal what is already inside each one.”

RETURNING HOME AFTER THE KINUS

What is your impression of the Kinus HaShluchos? Do you identify with other shluchos?

Mushka: “It’s amazing to meet so many shluchos from various places in the world, including Israelis that I knew as a girl. Now I see that each of them has built an empire; it’s moving to see how we’ve grown.” She recalls a line she once heard that is very meaningful to her now: “Shlichus takes little people and makes them into big people. Shlichus draws out in us tremendous soul powers and obligates us to deal with so many things that we never thought we’d be able to do. This is what makes a person big.”

Fraidy: “It’s fun to meet other women who are going through exactly what you’re going through and who understand what you are dealing with, since they’re from the same world. There is the sense that everyone comes to unload the hardships of shlichus and to fill up with renewed strength to go on.”

Mushka: “The knowledge that I am not on my own; that I am part of a huge system that is working to achieve one goal, the Rebbe’s vision to prepare the world for Geula, gives a lot of strength. On my own, I would not be able to transform the world; maybe just my place. It’s empowering to know that we are all in the same boat and the only thing we are all focused on is to bring Moshiach and we are ready to do everything to make that happen. If there were moments when I felt alone on shlichus, the only one stuck in this forsaken place and doing what the Rebbe wants with mesirus nefesh, I realized there are shluchos that are in truly forsaken places, and my situation is just fine compared to theirs.”

Fraidy: “I left with the feeling that I am part of something big and important, but it’s hard to hold on to this feeling for the long term, to retain the powerful moments and the renewed energies and put them to work, because you go back to the routine and daily life with its burdens.”

Fraidy brings up another point that helps her handle the challenges on shlichus after she came to realize that all shluchos are dealing with the same things. “Sometimes, there’s the feeling of how is it possible that every other Chabad House manages to put on a good event or bring out a crowd while I’m stuck. But that’s an illusion because in the end, every shliach has a story about an event they worked hard on and only a few people showed up and about financial woes, etc. For me personally, identifying with others helps me and encourages me.”

What do you take back with you after a Kinus?

Mushka: “As a result of a few lectures I heard, I made good hachlatos including about how to live with Moshiach at home and points that grabbed me about chinuch of children on shlichus, ideas that I heard from women who combine their shlichus work with lots of chinuch. In general, I feel that I come back with a much greater desire for Moshiach now, especially in light of some personal tragedies we experienced in our area. I find it very strengthening that Moshiach is about to come. And of course, my hiskashrus to the Rebbe was strengthened. Just being by the Rebbe, the davening and niggunim in 770, sitting comfortably to say T’hillim on Shabbos Mevarchim, it all gave me something that is missing on shlichus.”

Fraidy: “The Rebbe spoke about ‘And do not ignore your own flesh.’ A shlucha works with herself, her family, and those around her. Working with yourself, says the Rebbe, pertains to your obligation to first take care of yourself, from a spiritual standpoint. Working with your family, which I really relate to, pertains to investing in the chinuch of your children, sitting and learning with them, instilling in them Chassidishe content and niggunim.”

Fraidy says the shlucha in Bucharest, Mrs. Rishe Deitsch, took this upon herself by having a weekly shiur for their children, the children of the shluchim, and in special events she does for them, farbrengens and various Chassidishe projects. She puts a lot into this. “This is a huge help for us, since our children are not growing up in a Lubavitcher environment and it’s terribly lacking. 

“And of course, working with those around us, where there is always what to add. I teach kallos and I feel that in this too, I can do more.”

Yocheved: “I must admit that in the past, my view of the shluchos was not as admiring as it is today. To me, the shluchos are the queens. I salute them. It’s because I am now in their place that I know that each of us experiences something different in our place of shlichus and I admire whoever made this move. The home is based on a happy woman; a Chabad House all the more so. The woman has a central role. I look at shluchos as larger than life. I think that in a few years I will look at myself and feel that I accomplished something so important in my life.”