The Only Survivor of the Chemical Attack

22 Short Stories of Three Generations of Rebbeim, as told by R’ Zalman Leib Estulin a’h

WHERE CAN I FIND A REBBE?

In the early years after the passing of the Rebbe Maharash, the Rebbe Rashab refused to accept the nesius. At first, he wanted Raza (R’ Zalman Aharon, his brother) to also accept some of the leadership role. Throughout this period, the Chassidim begged him to formally accept the nesius.

At this time, the Rebbe prostrated himself at one of the gravesites and sobbed. As he was crying his heart out, there was an older Chassid there who did not know him. When he saw a young man crying, he said: What is this about [your sobbing here]? A young man ought to have a Rebbe!

The Rebbe Rashab said to him: If I only knew where to find a Rebbe, I would travel thousands of kilometers to get to him!

(from R’ Shaul Bruk)

SIGN FROM HEAVEN IN THE KITCHEN OF TOMCHEI TMIMIM

R’ Leib Ravzin told me about how he came to be accepted to learn in Tomchei Tmimim:

I had heard about the yeshiva and yearned to be accepted as a talmid there. After having an interview with the menahel, the Rebbe Rayatz, I found out that I was not accepted. The terms of acceptance were tough and I hadn’t made it.

I was very disappointed and did not rush to leave. After such a long trip and after finally arriving at the place I had wished for, where was I to hurry off to?

I remained in the area of the yeshiva and in order not to starve I decided to go into the kitchen after the meal was over and scavenge from the leftovers. As I was eating, the Rebbe Rashab suddenly came in. I was taken by surprise and froze.

The Rebbe gently said, “Bachur, what are you doing here?”

I poured out my heart, emphasizing that it was important to me to learn in the yeshiva. The Rebbe said he would take care of it and a short while later I was called in by the Rebbe Rayatz. He told me that I had been accepted as a talmid.

The Rebbe Rayatz explained the reason for the change. Usually, my father is not at all involved in the process of accepting bachurim; he relies on my opinion completely. He usually does not go into the kitchen, other than rare occasions. That day, as he was deep in thought, his feet took him to the kitchen. Since this was not at all usual for him, he realized he had come for some purpose. As he was thinking what spiritual purpose brought him there, he found you, and after hearing what you said he understood that from heaven you are suited to this yeshiva. That is why he decided to circumvent the usual policy and accept you.

HIDDUR IN “V’NISHMARTEM L’NAFSHOSEICHEM”

R’ Leib Ravzin told me:

I was once walking around in Lubavitch in the winter while wearing summer clothes. I met the Rebbe Rashab who asked me: Do you know what the hiddur is in the mitzva of v’nishmarten me’od l’nafshoseichem?”

I remained silent; I did not know what to say.

The Rebbe said: When you wear a scarf. 

THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF THE CHEMICAL ATTACK

R’ Leib Ravzin also told me:

When my draft order came, I went to the Rebbe, as my friends did, to get a bracha that I be released. The Rebbe had three things he would say. If a bachur was given the bracha, “May Hashem help that they not look at you at all” (or “They won’t set eyes on you”) he knew he would be easily exempted. If a bachur was told, “May Hashem help you,” he knew he would be released but it would be difficult or he would just get a deferment. A bachur who was told, “May Hashem protect you wherever you may be,” knew he would be drafted and the Rebbe’s bracha would stand by him.

I got the third bracha and knew what awaited me. I went to the draft office and of course, my attempts to be exempted did not help. I was drafted but in my heart I was calm; I knew the Rebbe’s bracha would accompany me.

Indeed, during the fighting I saw this; this was during World War I. During one of the difficult battles between the Russians and the Germans, during the shelling, my fellow soldiers decided to let off some steam. Of course, the “sacrificial lamb” had to be a Jew and who was the Jew? Me!

They grabbed me and began playing with me, treating me like a ball, tossing me from one to the next. It felt as though my bones were almost dislocating. This went on for some time until they finally tossed me to the side. I lay there on the ground and remained lying there, silently. First, so as not to get them started with me again, and second, I simply had no strength to get up.

In the meantime, the unit returned to the front. After resting, I got myself up and went in the direction they had gone. When I arrived at the line of fire, I saw, to my amazement, that they were all lying on the ground, dead. It was one of the few times that the Germans used chemical warfare and it caused the loss of many Russian lives.

I was astounded, and in my ears reverberated the words of the Rebbe, “May Hashem protect you wherever you may be.”

I was still deciding what to do next, when a support team arrived from the high command. I heard them talking excitedly, “We heard they used gas and we came to see whether there was anyone to save.” Since only I was there, they were so happy with me and sent me to headquarters to recover from the experience. I even received a medal for my heroism as the only soldier who survived from my unit.

THE DAY WILL YET COME

R’ Benzion Maroz told me:

Once, when I had yechidus with the Rebbe Rashab, I asked him about what is explained in Tanya (chapter 18) that even the lowest of the low is ready to give up his life al kiddush Hashem – how come I don’t feel I would do that?

The Rebbe said, “The day will yet come when even this power will be revealed within you.”

Indeed, years later, during World War II, I was sick and in the hospital. It was around the time of their holiday. Some youth, who saw me, an older man with a white beard, decided I looked like Santa and told me to attend their party.

At first, when I noticed the threatening look on their faces, I was afraid to say no. Various calculations came to mind like perhaps this wasn’t completely forbidden for my role would be to give out gifts, especially when this entailed danger to my life for these drunkards could do away with me if I did not accede to their request.

Then, that yechidus came to mind, in which the Rebbe saw with his prophetic spirit that I would also be in a situation where I would have to uncover the power of mesirus nefesh within myself. I immediately forcefully refused and boruch Hashem, they did not bother me.

THE TIME PASSED

In Lubavitch, it was customary that when the bachurim were called down to the draft office, they first went to the Rebbe Rashab to get a bracha that they easily be released. It once happened that a group of bachurim asked for a bracha but the Rebbe ignored their request. They tried in various ways but were not successful.

One night, the Rebbe Rashab called for his son and told him that it was an auspicious time up Above and he could ask for whatever he desired. The Rebbe Rayatz immediately thought of the bachurim and rushed to call them to his father’s room. These tmimim received the bracha they wanted, “May the hands of the goyim have no power over you,” which meant a guaranteed complete exemption.

After they left, the Rebbe Rayatz wanted to take advantage of this auspicious time for himself. His father said: The time passed. Nevertheless, I will bless you that you be above the limitations of time (of auspicious times) and be able to accomplish what you need to do.

NAMES AND TITLES

Rabbi Yaakov Landau told me that when the Rebbe Rashab was in his home and mentioned the names of distinguished rabbanim, he usually mentioned them by name, without titles, except for R’ Chaim of Brisk whom he called Reb Chaim.

I asked R’ Landau how he referred to the Chofetz Chaim and he told me that the Rebbe did not refer to him by name but used the name of his sefer, “Chofetz Chaim.” 

SPECIAL REGARD FOR THE CHOFETZ CHAIM

The Rebbe Rashab greatly respected the Chofetz Chaim and the relationship was one of mutual respect and high esteem.

R’ Benzion Maroz, a talmid of Tomchei Tmimim, told me that he was a witness when the Chofetz Chaim visited the home of the Rebbe Rashab, and the Rebbe went to escort him out the door, their arms entwined, a kiruv that nobody remembers ever having been shown to anybody else.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY

Rabbi Yaakov Landau related what he once witnessed at a farbrengen of the Rebbe Rashab, when some very wealthy Polish Chassidim were there. The Rebbe spoke about tzedaka and even told them to put their money out on the table for the Rebbe to take whatever amount he decided to take.

One of the gvirim responded at once. He took out his wallet and put it on the table. However, his colleagues, who were afraid lest the Rebbe take too large a sum, delayed in removing their money.

As the farbrengen continued, the Rebbe took a small sum from the wallet and returned the rest to the gvir. When the other rich men saw that they had been apprehensive for naught, they also wanted to put down their money but the Rebbe declined, saying, “Now, it’s too late.”

WHERE DID THE FRUMKEIT COME FROM?

R’ Landau told me that the Rebbe Rashab was a big machmir (very stringent). On his travels, he did not sit on an upholstered seat in fear of shatnez and he would kasher the utensils he used when traveling, after the trip, lest they came into contact with something forbidden. And many other stringencies.

The Rebbe Rashab once said to R’ Landau: My nature to be machmir and my frumkeit I inherited from my (Lithuanian) ancestor R’ Avrohom Broide (the Rebbe was a descendant of his through his mother Rebbetzin Rivka).

HALF AWAKE, HALF ASLEEP

R’ Landau told me that in the period after the passing of the Rebbe Rashab, he was faced with a serious financial problem. In order to revive himself, he needed some cash with which to buy merchandise that was recommended to him, by which he could earn a little money. In his difficult straits, he went to the tziyun and poured out his heart.

It then occurred to him to go to the Rebbe Rayatz, perhaps he could be of help. When he went to the Rebbe, the Rebbe told him he had nothing but he would make efforts to obtain the necessary money from those close to the Rebbe’s household.

After obtaining the money for him, the Rebbe Rayatz said: Before you arrived to see me, my father came to me when I was half awake and half asleep. He said to me: Yankel came to me with bitterness and poured out his heart. I ask of you that you do all that you can to help him.

THE MERIT OF REVIVING THE REBBE

R’ Yaakov Landau would say many times, “May it stand by me the merit that I revived the Rebbe Rayatz.” He once told me the story behind this:

When the Rebbe was first in Rostov, I accompanied him on a trip to Moscow. On the way, the Rebbe did not feel at ease and several times he said, “I feel that the Cheka (secret police, who preceded the KGB) are following us.”

Shortly after our return to Rostov, the evil men surrounded the house. They set up a watch at the doors and allowed people to enter but allowed no one to leave. They quickly piled all the suspicious things they found, notes, accounts, letters, and the like on a table in one of the rooms. This included some documents that were liable to be considered incriminating due to their content – letters to arouse world opinion against the coercive tactics of the communists. (In his letters to the Rebbe, R’ Landau said it was a proclamation against the government called “Kuma Yisrael L’Menuchasecha”).

The Rebbe stood there, pale. I knew what he was worried about and decided to take action. I slowly approached the desk and when the time was right I quickly slid the incriminating papers into my pocket. For several minutes I shredded them with my fingers into little pieces. When the work was done, I asked to be excused, saying that my stomach hurt and I had to leave. The commander unwillingly sent me to the bathroom which was outside the house with an escort. There, I emptied my pockets.

When I returned, I waited for the right time and whispered to the Rebbe, “I burned the chometz.” The Rebbe’s face changed completely for he immediately understood what I meant. His color returned and I saw that I had revived him. (In his letters, this story appears with certain changes but I heard this version from him many times).

Then, they asked a Jewish seamstress who was there, to translate a page of income and expenses of the Tomchei Tmimim yeshiva network that they found among the papers.

This seamstress could not read nor write Hebrew but being clever, she made believe that she could. After a few seconds, she said, “This is a grocery bill! What do you care about this nonsense?” and she threw the papers in the garbage.

I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS

There was a mekurav of the Rebbe Rashab’s household who was wealthy and the Rebbe would occasionally ask him for donations. When the Rebbe needed tzedaka for certain purposes, he would ask him to contribute.

The man donated but not as much as expected by someone as rich as him. One time, the Rebbe Rashab said to him: Although you did not give me as I thought you would give, I will still keep you in mind.

The man did not understand what this was about and mentally set it aside.

The Bolshevik Revolution began some time later. One of the first things they did was to institute equality and this was by eliminating the rich and confiscating their money. The Red soldiers would kidnap several rich people from their homes, bring them to an abandoned building and kill them.

This rich man too, was caught and brought to be killed. As he reached the building he sensed the danger he was in but could do nothing, for if he tried to escape, he would be shot. In the meantime, they pushed everyone in but they overlooked him since he was weak and slow and he remained standing in the courtyard.

An officer suddenly entered the courtyard and when he saw someone near the secret building, he was afraid that he wanted to sniff around what was going on there. He immediately shouted at him: Get out of here now, if you don’t want me to break your bones!

The man rushed to leave as the words of the Rebbe came to his mind.

(from the Boider Rav Yeshaya Zushe Shubov)

THE ESSENCE OF THE DAY ATONES

A Chassid of the Rebbe Rashab told me what he once heard from the Rebbe Rashab after Yom Kippur:

In the mishna it quotes the verse, “On this day, He will atone for you.” We learn from this that the essence of the day atones. It turns out that Rebbi (Yehuda Ha’Nasi), author of the mishna, says that even someone who did not daven and do teshuva, is still atoned for by the holiness of the day.

THE GASHMIYUS OF A JEW

R’ Mendel Leib Abramson, may Hashem avenge his blood, told me:

After the communist revolution, the financial situation deteriorated, especially for religious Jews and it became unbearable.

When the Rebbe Rayatz went to Moscow, things were so bad that in my pocket I didn’t have the few coins to pay for the tram so I could go to the Rebbe. I had to walk a long way.

When I had yechidus, I handed the Rebbe three full pages. The Rebbe took the pidyon nefesh and answered all my questions.

When I began to leave, he called me back and said, “Until now, you asked about ruchniyus. What about gashmiyus?”

“I don’t care about gashmiyus,” I said, waving my hand dismissively.

The Rebbe smiled and said, “It doesn’t bother you but I care very much about your gashmiyus,” and be blessed me. After that, my situation improved a little bit.

SPIRITUAL CIRCUMCISION

One erev Shabbos, a bachur who learned in one of the Litvishe yeshivos ended up in the town of Lubavitch. It seems this bachur was considered a ben Torah and important in his yeshiva, or at least he thought so and he thought highly of himself.

The bachur asked where he could stay for Shabbos and when they referred him to one of the usual places he wasn’t satisfied. He asked, “Who here is the important person in town?”

The tmimim innocently told him about the greatness of the Rebbe, that he is the Rebbe of thousands of Chassidim and that his beis medrash attracts all who seek Hashem and those in need of advice and a bracha.

“That’s a suitable place for me to stay,” he thought. He inquired as to where the Rebbe lived, knocked on the door, and asked whether he could spend Shabbos there.

The Rebbe welcomed him with respect, cleared a bed for him and throughout Shabbos made him feel like an old member of the household. Shabbos afternoon after the meal, the bachur went over to the bookcase, took some rare and valuable sefarim, and began flipping through the pages. The Rebbe Rashab paid this no mind. The Rebbe Rayatz, who was there, could not bear this but he restrained himself.

In the meantime, the bachur continued poking through manuscripts of the Rebbeim and began looking at them. The Rebbe Rashab continued to remain silent but the Rebbe Rayatz ran out of patience.

The Rebbe Rayatz said: Tell me bachur, how many years has it been since you made a bris mila?

The bachur understood this to mean that he was being asked his age and he thought, “He is a tzaddik the son of a tzaddik and he associates everything with a mitzva; even an age he associates with the mitzva of bris mila.” He said, “About twenty years.”

The Rebbe Rayatz said acerbically, “If so much time has passed since your bris mila, the time has come to do it again!” (To Chassidim, making a bris in the spiritual sense means removing the coarseness and flesh covering the heart). The bachur got the hint.

THE REBBE RAYATZ IN THE TRAIN CORRIDOR

A truly G-d fearing Jew told me:

Before the Revolution, I worked in a big woodworking factory that was under Jewish ownership. When the Revolution began, they put the factory owners in jail and transferred ownership of  the factory to the government.

When the government-appointed managers of the factory offered that I continue working there as an expert in the big machinery, I made a condition, that I would not work on Shabbos and Yom Tov.

Although there was usually no chance of getting work under these conditions, since my expertise was needed by them for the proper operation of the factory, they agreed. They said: We usually do not agree to conditions like these, but since you will never be much of a communist anyway we will enable you to do this as long as you work well.

I once traveled by train for work, between Moscow and Leningrad. The train car was divided so that a long corridor went down the length with the scenery on one side and rooms on the other side. A short time after the journey began, I momentarily left my compartment. I saw the Rebbe Rayatz standing in the corridor and looking skyward through the window. I did not want to disturb him so I passed by and said, good evening, and returned to my room.

More than an hour later, I went out again and the Rebbe was still standing in the exact position. I wondered why he wasn’t in his room. I went over to him and asked him whether he had a sleeping compartment. He said yes and when I asked for the number of the room, he told me.

I went to his room and when I peeked inside all was made clear. Inside was a woman who had bought a place in the same room. She was not dressed at all modestly. I understood all. The Rebbe had left the room in a hurry and did not even care about his belongings that remained unsupervised.

I went to the Rebbe and asked whether he wanted to move to my room. He said yes. I went to my roommate, a goy, a government supervisor, and told him about the problem: an older uncle is in that room and there is an immodest woman and due to his integrity, he cannot remain there.

The goy said he would happily switch and he personally dragged the Rebbe’s bundles so he wouldn’t have to return to that room. And that is how I merited to have the Rebbe Rayatz in my room for the rest of the trip.

HE DID NOT SLEEP ON THE BEDDING OF GENTILES

The Rebbe’s father, the kabbalist Rabbi Levi Yitzchok Schneerson, was once hosted by relatives in Moscow and they gave him bedding. He asked them, “Where did you get this from?”

“From the neighbors,” they said.

“Then I won’t sleep on it. I won’t sleep on what gentiles slept on.”

THE REBBE MH”M AND THE STRASHELLER

A Jew who lived in a small town told me that when he had yechidus with the Rebbe, he mentioned where he was born and how people would go up and pray at the grave of R’ Aharon Strasheller. Upon hearing his name, the Rebbe lifted himself from his seat in an expression of respect and expressed great interest, “The Strasheller?”

A SWEET LIFE WITHOUT SUGAR

A woman told the Rebbe that she suffered from diabetes and asked for a bracha for a refuah.

The Rebbe blessed her: May Hashem help you that your life be sweet without any sugar.

BLESSING TO BE SAVED FROM NICE DISEASES

When there was an outbreak of cholera in Eretz Yisrael, everybody became frightened and they vaccinated most people. At the time, one of the Chassidim who lived in Kfar Chabad went to the Rebbe and asked for a bracha for Jews in Eretz Yisrael, especially in Kfar Chabad, that they not suffer from the “not nice” (based on the Hebrew play on words referring to the disease as choli-ra – bad or not nice disease).

The Rebbe said: May Hashem help that Jews in Eretz Yisrael not suffer from the “not nice” disease and also not suffer from nice diseases…

THE REBBE’S SHARE IN THE WORLD TO COME

At a farbrengen, I sat as usual on one of the benches on the farbrengen platform behind the Rebbe and listened to the sichos. During a break between sichos, a man with long hair to his shoulders went over to the Rebbe and began talking to him. While talking, he placed his hand on the Rebbe’s shoulder. The old Chassid, R’ Eliyahu Yochil Simpson went over and removed the man’s hand while explaining that it wasn’t appropriate to do that.

As they spoke, the Rebbe could suddenly be heard saying, “What more do you want? I already put my Olam Haba (share in the World to Come) on the line for you.”

I was shocked to hear this and thought I had misheard. The next day, I met my mechutan, R’ Peretz Mochkin and asked him whether he had also heard that. He said yes and that he was shocked to hear it.

R’ Peretz said that it is known that Rabbi Nachman of Breslov would say about his Chassidim that he would pull them out of Gehinnom by their beard and pei’os. Our Rebbe, concluded R’ Peretz, pulls people out of Gehinnom by their long hair. ■