MISSING HUSBAND

Gideon (a pseudonym) walked briskly down the street in Crown Heights. He was on his way to see the rav of the community, Rabbi Zalman Shimon Dworkin (d. 1985).

“How can I help you?” the rav asked, when he opened the door.

Gideon walked in and said, “My wife is the reason I am here.”

“Your wife?” R’ Dworkin knew that Gideon had recently married. Were there problems?

“Yes, my wife. She’s awful. She does nothing but sit on the couch all day or she goes shopping where she wastes all our money. Since we got married, she has managed to spend all the money we have.”

The rav looked sharply and skeptically at Gideon. He knew Gideon and his tendency to exaggerate. Aside from that, he knew the wife’s family and what Gideon said about her didn’t sound accurate.

The rav suggested, “Let us have your wife come here and we will talk together. I am sure we can settle things and restore peace to your home.”

When the wife came and heard her husband’s complaints, she looked thunderstruck. “I don’t know what he’s talking about. I function normally and I am not at all a spendthrift. Lately, my husband has become very irritable. He decided that we cannot live together and needs to divorce which is why he is making up stories.”

What she said sounded truthful and so the rav spoke sternly to the husband, “Why are you looking for the negative in your wife? You have a good wife. Go home in peace.”

For a short time, it looked as though the husband had calmed down and life returned to normal. This did not last long.

One day, Gideon left the house and did not come back. His wife waited impatiently for his return but time passed and he did not come home. She tried looking for him in every possible place but could not find him. Nobody could tell her where he had gone.

A woman whose husband left her without giving her a halachic divorce, called a get, is called an aguna. It’s a sad situation because she cannot marry someone else.

The wife sadly went to R’ Dworkin and said, “My husband disappeared. What should I do?”

“I will do all that I can to find your husband,” he encouraged the woman. “I will also help you find a job so you can support yourself.”

The woman went home feeling somewhat encouraged.

The rav immediately sent letters to rabbanim all over the world so that if the man had left America, the rabbanim would know about the situation. But none of the rabbanim had seen the man nor knew where he was.

After a while, R’ Dworkin heard that the man had been seen in Eretz Yisrael. It wasn’t clear whether he was still there but he focused his efforts on Eretz Yisrael.

The rav sent letters to the chief rabbinate and to a minister in the government who could help. They all tried to help but were unsuccessful.

“The only thing we can do is list him as a wanted man. If he tries to leave Eretz Yisrael, his name will come up in the computer and he will be arrested,” they said.

An entire year went by with no clue as to the man’s whereabouts. Seeing that his efforts had produced no results, R’ Dworkin wrote a letter to the Rebbe with the entire sad story and asked what to do.

The Rebbe’s answer was, “Ask the opinion of the rabbanim in Kfar Chabad; I will mention it at the tziyun.”

R’ Dworkin was very surprised by this answer. How could the rav in Kfar Chabad be of help if the chief rabbinate, who had many more sources of information, was unable to help?

***

Now, let us go to Eretz Yisrael, in the meantime, and listen to a peculiar story:

A certain Chassid in Kfar Chabad had a restaurant in Tel Aviv. In addition to making a living, the restaurant was a place where he reached out to customers. He was a baal chesed and he sometimes gave food for free to poor people.

One day, on his way to the restaurant, he saw a pitiful person in Tel Aviv. The man’s clothing were worn out, he was very thin, and he looked as though he hadn’t eaten in a long time.

When the Chassid saw this man, he thought he looked familiar. Could he also be a Lubavitcher Chassid?

“I think we are acquainted …” he said to the man. The man did not not deny it but immediately began to run away.

The Chassid grabbed the man’s arm and begged him to come to his restaurant to eat. The man agreed.

In the restaurant, the Chassid served him a nourishing meal and began to talk to him. The man opened up and said, “I left home and came here. I went to a kibbutz but I didn’t like it. Then I moved to Tel Aviv and looked for a job. I found work as a messenger. I once had to go to Europe as part of my work but when I got to the airport, they told me I was a wanted man. They nearly arrested me but at the last minute I managed to get away. Since then, I am afraid of looking for work, lest they find me.”

“Come with me to Kfar Chabad. I’ll take care of you,” said the Chassid. But the man, who was very suspicious, did not want to go. It was only after much convincing that he agreed to go.

The Chassid took him to his house and gave him food and a bed. After the man fell asleep, he went to the rav of Kfar Chabad, Rabbi Zalman Garelik, to ask him what to do next.

As he spoke with the rav, the phone rang.

“Hello, this is R’ Dworkin. I am calling you since the Rebbe told me to do so,” and he told R’ Garelik about the aguna.

The rav immediately thought that the strange man was the missing husband. The next morning, the man was brought to the rav and he confirmed that he was the missing man.

“I absolutely cannot go back to my wife,” he said.

“Then you need to give her a get,” said the rav. Then and there, a get was arranged and only then was the man allowed to leave. ■