Current Issue

 

Share

Search
BeisMoshiach.org
Web
Tags
"Misnagdim” #1000 #1001 #1002 #1003 #1004 #1005 #1006 #1007 #1008 #1009 #1010 #1011 #1012 #1013 #1014 #1015 #1016 #1017 #1018 #1019 #1020 #1021 #1022 #1023 #1024 #1025 #1026 #1027 #1028 #1029 #1030 #1031 #1032 #1033 #1034 #1035 #1036 #1037 #1038 #1039 #1040 #1041 #1042 #1043 #1044 #1045 #1046 #1047 #1048 #1049 #1050 #1051 #1052 #1053 #1054 #1055 #1056 #1057 #1058 #1059 #1060 #1061 #1062 #1063 #1064 #1065 #1066 #1067 #1068 #1069 #1070 #1071 #1072 #1073 #1074 #1075 #1076 #1077 #1078 #1079 #1080 #1081 #1082 #1083 #1084 #1085 #1086 #1088 #1089 #1090 #1091 #1092 #1093 #1094 #1095 #1096 #1097 #1098 #1099 #1100 #1101 #1102 #1103 #1104 #1106 #1107 #1108 #1109 #1110 #1111 #1112 #1113 #1114 #1115 #1116 #1117 #1118 #1119 #1120 #1121 #1122 #1123 #1124 #1125 #1126 #1127 #1128 #1129 #1130 #1131 #1132 #1133 #1134 #1135 #1136 #1137 #1138 #1139 #1140 #1141 #1142 #1143 #1144 #1145 #1146 #1147 #1148 #1149 #1150 #1151 #1152 #1153 #1154 #1155 #1156 #1157 #1158 #1159 #1160 #1161 #1162 #1163 #1164 #1165 #1166 #1167 #318 #319 #350 #383 #390 #550 #560 #594 #629 #642 #776 #777 #778 #779 #780 #781 #782 #783 #784 #785 #786 #787 #820 #823 #824 #825 #826 #827 #828 #829 #830 #831 #832 #833 #834 #835 #836 #837 #838 #839 #840 #841 #842 #843 #844 #845 #846 #847 #848 #849 #850 #851 #852 #853 #854 #855 #856 #857 #858 #859 #860 #861 #862 #863 #864 #865 #866 #867 #868 #869 #870 #871 #872 #873 #874 #875 #876 #876 #877 #878 #879 #880 #881 #882 #883 #884 #885 #886 #887 #888 #889 #890 #891 #892 #893 #894 #895 #896 #897 #898 #899 #900 #901 #902 #903 #904 #905 #906 #907 #908 #909 #910 #911 #912 #913 #914 #915 #916 #917 #918 #919 #920 #921 #922 #923 #924 #925 #926 #927 #928 #929 #930 #931 #932 #933 #934 #935 #936 #937 #938 #939 #940 #941 #942 #943 #944 #945 #946 #947 #948 #949 #950 #951 #952 #953 #954 #955 #956 #957 #958 #959 #960 #961 #962 #963 #964 #965 #966 #967 #968 #969 #970 #971 #972 #973 #974 #975 #976 #977 #978 #979 #980 #981 #982 #983 #984 #985 #986 #987 #988 #989 #990 #991 #992 #993 #994 #995 #996 #997 #998 #999 1 Kislev 10 Kislev 10 Shvat 10 Shvat 10 Teives 11 11 Nissan 112 Tammuz 12 Tammuz 13 Iyar 13 Tishrei 14 Kislev 15 Elul 15 Menachem-Av 15 Shvat 17 Tammuz 18 Elul 19 Kislev 2 Iyar 20 Av 20 Mar-Cheshvan 20 Menachem-Av 22 Shvat 24 Teives 25 Adar 27 Adar 28 Nissan 28 Teives 29 Elul 3 Tammuz 33 Tammuz 352 5 Teives 6 Tishrei 7 Adar 770 864 865 881 9 Adar 9 Av 9 Kislev 903 Acharei Acharei-K'doshim Achdus Adar Ahavas Yisroel Alef-Beis All Jews Shall Rise Alter Rebbe Amalek Argentina Arizal army Artwork Aseres HaDibros Australia Avoda Zara B’Chukosai B’Shalach Baal Shem Tov baal t'shuva Baba Sali Balak BaMidbar bar mitzva Basi L'Gani B'Chukosai be Bein HaMeitzarim Beis HaMikdash Beis Nissan Beth Rivkah B'Haalos'cha B'Har B'Har-B'Chukosai Birthday Bitachon Blindness Bo B'rachos Brazil brit milah Brussels B'Shalach chai v'kayam Chanuka Chassidic Rabbis Chayei Sara Chernobil chesed Chevron children chinuch Chitas Choshen Chukas Churban controversy convert Dan Diary of the late R’ Saadya Maatuf Dollars dreams D''varim Editorial Editor's Corner Eikev Elul Emor Europe Family Purity fire France free choice Gaza Gentiles Georgia Gulf War Gush Katif Haazinu Hakhel Halvayas Hameis Hashavas Aveida HaYom Yom Hebron hiskashrus Holy Temple Honoring Parents Hospitality IDF Igrot Kodesh India Intermarriage Internet Iran Iron Curtain Israel Japan Jewish Refugee Crisis Kabbala K'doshim Kfar Chabad Ki Savo Ki Seitzei Ki Sisa KIDDUSH LEVANA Kiryat Gat Kislev kKi Sisa Kohen Gadol Korach korbanos KOS SHEL BRACHA Krias Shma K'vutza Lag B'Omer lashon ha'ra Lech Lecha letter Litvishe maamer Machatzis HaShekel mahn Mar-Cheshvan marriage Massei Matot Mattos Mattos-Massei Menachem Av Menora Metzora Mexico Miami MiKeitz MIkvah Mishkan Mishpatim Mitteler Rebbe Mitzva Tank Mitzvah Tanks Mivtza Kashrus MIvtza Neshek Mivtza T’fillin Mivtza Tefilin Morocco Moshe Rabbeinu Moshiach & Geula Moshiach Seuda music Names Napoleon Naso niggunim Nissan Nitzavim Nitzavim-VaYeilech Noach Noachide North Africa olive oil painting Parshas Parah parshas re'eh Parshas Zachor Pesach Pesach Sheini Pinchas Pirkei Avos P'kudei Poland prayer Prison prophecy Purim R’ Avrohom Schneersohn Rabbi Hillel Zaltzman Rabbi Levi Yitzchok Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu Rabbi Shlomo Galperin Rambam Ramban Rashbi Rashi Rebbe Rebbe Maharash Rebbe Rashab Rebbe Rayatz Rebbe Rayatz & Joint Rebbetzin Chana Rebbetzin Chaya Muska Rebbetzin Rivka Red Heifer Reform movement R'ei Rishon L'Tzion Rosh Chodesh Rosh HaShana Russia S’firas HaOmer Samarkand seifer Torah s'firas ha'omer Shabbos Shabbos Chazon Shabbos Hagadol Shabbos Nachamu shalom bayis Shavuos Shekalim shiduchim Shlach shleimus ha'Aretz shliach shlichus Shmini Shmita Shmos Shoftim shtus Shvat simcha Simchas Torah South Africa Sukkos summer tahalucha Talmud Torah Tanya Tazria-Metzora te Tehilim Teives Terror teshuva Tetzaveh t'fillin the soul tisha b'av Tishrei Toldos Tomchei T'mimim Truma t'shuva tTruma Tzanz Tzav Tzedaka Tzemach Tzedek Tzfas tzimtzum Tzitzis Tzniyus Ukraine undefined Upsherinish VaEira VaEs'chanan VaYakhel VaYakhel-P’kudei VaYechi VaYeilech VaYeira VaYeishev VaYeitzei VaYigash VaYikra VaYishlach Vocational Schools Winter women Yechidus Yerushalayim Yeshiva Yisro Yom Kippur Yom Tov Zohar Zos HaBracha. B'Reishis סיביר
Visitor Feed
Friday
Mar152019

Is it OK to use Corporal Punishment on Small Children

?Education and discipline are two totally different objectives.

I want to relate two stories from the era when this method was used more often, which I believe can teach us an important thing or two about parenting and educating in this day and age, especially on the usefulness of spanking.

The Frierdiker Rebbes Only Patch

The first story is of the Frierdiker Rebbe. The Frierdiker Rebbe himself related the following story of the only patch (slap) he ever received from his father, the Rebbe Rashab:

Once, when I was about six years old, my father found me eating breakfast and he asked me whether I made a bracha on my tzitzis. I repliedyes”. “Nevertheless, make a bracha,” said my father. I refused.

So my father gave me a light slap [indicating the crying was not out of pain, rather out of humiliation] and I cried. I later asked my father with tears in my eyes: “Do we make a bracha on the tzitzis because Hashem said, or because Tate said? If one must recite the bracha for Hashem, then I have already done so; and if one must recite the blessing because of your command, well…”

My father replied: “One must recite the bracha for Hashem. But every father has been entrusted with the task to educate his children, and he must be obeyed.”

The aspects of the story which I want to draws attention to are:

A) That the patch humiliated him rather than hurt him, the slap was not aggressive and intimidating.

B) That he was comfortable to “confront” his father. I.e., the patch usually shuts a child down not allowing questions, but In this case, the patch actually elicited something which turned out to be educational.

But Rebbi, I Deserved It…”

The second story is of my great-grandfather, a truly big Chassid, Reb Yisroel Neveler was his name. He was a Melamed, a really good one, his students loved him, they totally adored him. But he gave petch, he did hit the children. I don’t know what the rules in his classroom were, but he did give petch.

One of the stories they tell about him is that he once slapped a child for whatever rule the child had broken, but then he paused, he hesitated and he said: du bist doch a Yosemthe child was an orphan — “I just hit an orphan,” and he began to cry.

So the little boy he slapped says to his melamed Rebbe, es hot mir gekumtI deserved it, I earned the patch, Reb Yisroel answeredI know, but you’re an orphan. I hit an orphan.” And they both continued crying. The student cried because he felt that the teacher should not be crying because hethe studentdeserved the patch, and the teacher cried because whether the child deserved it or not, he was an orphan.

The reason I relate this story is because it tells you something about melamdim. In other words, if you have a teacher who has that kind of connection with his students. That even when the teacher slaps the child there is this deep love. It’s on a whole different level. We don’t have such teachers and we don’t have such students. Reb Yisroel Neveler was a melamed and his students loved him and even when he gave a patch that love didn’t subside.  (See Besuras Hegeulah in this issueEd.)

I’m not going to say that every patch he gave 70 years ago was justified. But what is certain is that a teacher that doesn’t have such unconditional love for his students to such an extent that it reciprocated by the students to him, definitely cannot excuse such kind of behavior. It has nothing to do with education

That being said, let’s get down to the question itself.

This question itself includes more items in it, namely:

A. What does one hope to accomplish with the corporal punishment?

B. Does spanking a child serve that purpose?

We usually are inclined to use this method of discipline either to make the child do something he is refusing to do, or to stop him from doing something we don’t want him to do. But it’s a disciplinary tool, not an educational tool.

Using corporal punishment means giving a painful consequence for a wrongful act. You are not sayingdon’t do this because its wrongordo this because its right,” rather you are sayingdo this or don’t do that because I’m going to spank you if not.”

Now, when it comes to real dangerous behaviors like if a child tries drinking something poisonous or runs into a busy street with cars, obviously we can see the logic in subjecting that child to a minimal amount of physical pain. We are letting him now that he shouldn’t do this, or else it will hurt him. Even though this does not educate him, it only frightens him and takes away his will to do something dangerous.

In this case, it is a fair objective [in the right age].

But as a tool for ingraining values in the child, we can simply see the harmful effects of it, because like I explained, youre not really educating the child youre merely frightening and intimidating them.

Edited from a Video-answer on StumpTheRabbi.org

 

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.