DEALING WITH AN UNFOLDED TALLIS

HaRav Yosef Yeshaya Braun, shlita, Mara D’asra and member of the Badatz of Crown Heights

THE FALLOUT OF A YOUNG BOY ESTRANGED FROM HIS FATHER

Parents divorce and their son lives with his mother for the first six years of his life. At age six, he is to go live with his father, as outlined by the Beis Din at the time of the divorce*. The child refuses. The father states, “If my son doesn’t come live with me, I will no longer support him. That’s what the Shulchan Aruch says.”

A father is halachically obligated to support his minor children. When they reach the age of six, this monetary benefit is considered tz’daka (charity), though it is still required. How then, is the father in the above scenario exempt from child support? Indeed, his reasoning is in line with the Rambam, as codified in Shulchan Aruch! Possible justifications for this practice are explored by latter-day poskim:

It’s the father’s obligation, primarily, to teach his son Torah and, perhaps, absent being able to fulfill this mitzvah, he no longer has to support him.

Perhaps it’s not in the child’s best interest to receive money (tz’daka) from his father when he spurns his spiritual influence, and withholding it can be considered a disciplinary measure.

Since the son is a rebellious child, maybe the father is no longer obligated in the tz’daka!

Perhaps withholding support is a consequence for the mother, for having estranged her son from his father and reneged on the custody agreement.

Maybe a cash allowance is beyond the purview of the father’s obligation. If the son and father lived together, the father would provide him with food and shelter, but long-distance, the support would have to be monetary.

Other questions arise from the s’varos (theories) of the poskim:

If the son’s support is dependent on his father’s responsibility to teach him Torah, what are the ramifications for a daughter whose father is not required to educate her to the degree of her brother (who has a specific mitzvah to learn Torah when he is older)?

How does this halacha affect joint custody or visitation agreements divorced parents may have via a Beis Din? Can financial arrangements change according to the child’s decision to desist living with the father in scenarios other than the one stated above?

A Beis Din considers all these possibilities before issuing a p’sak (ruling) exempting a father from his obligation to support his estranged child(ren). Obviously, it would be best in any scenario for divorced parents to resolve issues of custody amicably, especially considering the children’s emotional wellbeing (since having children, halachically speaking, is more a responsibility and less a privilege).

*This is actually the general guideline of the Shulchan Aruch: when a boy reaches the age of six, his father receives custody, to enable him to fulfill his obligation of providing his son with his spiritual needs. However, these terms are not followed by Beis Din in many circumstances, chiefly because halacha is concerned with the custody arrangement that is best for the particular child (see Halacha #238).

(Halachically, a daughter is to remain with her mother—barring existential issues, as determined by Beis Din—for the mother is charged with her education; therefore a father has no leverage by which to refuse a daughter her child benefits.)

WHEN HOLY WORDS MEET THE WHITEBOARD ERASER

Written words of Torah attain k’dusha (sanctity) and must be treated with respect. If a teacher writes the day’s Torah lesson on a blackboard or whiteboard, may it then be erased?

The common custom is that it may (and the practice of using the board to teach Torah persists), for two reasons. The first suggests that words written with the intention of erasing them afterwards do not acquire k’dusha. Alternatively, it’s possible to say that the purpose of erasing the board is to make it available for more Torah to take its place.

Nevertheless, the name of Hashem should not be written, as it may never be erased. It is customary not to write Hashem’s name in full, in any language; so we write, for example, “With G-d’s help.” However, if Hashem’s name was written without modification in another language, it may be erased from the board.

It is a time-honored tradition for headings—on papers, posters, and on the board in the classroom—to begin with a reference to Hashem’s immanence, commonly written as such: áñ”ã, which is the Hebrew acronym for bi’Siyata D’Shmaya (With Hashem’s help). This too may be erased. Even writing the alternative á”ä, which stands for Baruch Hashem (this acquires a higher status of k’dusha, as the letter hey [ä] is a stand-in for Hashem’s holy name) may be erased from the board, though some maintain that it’s preferable to write áñ”ã (BSD).

DEALING WITH AN UNFOLDED TALLIS

A tallis (prayer-shawl) should be folded every day right after davening (see Halacha #87). This is the customary way: remain standing after completing the final t’filla (prayer), remove the tallis—preferably with the left hand to illustrate the difficulty in parting with it—and then fold it. There were tzaddikim who were particular not to don a tallis that had been left unfolded. If a tallis was inadvertently left unfolded overnight, they would fold it, or shake it out to straighten it, before putting it on the next day.

There are two issurim (restrictions) associated with folding a tallis on Shabbos: nir’eh k’mesaken kli (appearing to improve the garment) and hachana (preparation for after Shabbos). Folding a tallis on Shabbos when concluding the davening, so it can be properly donned the following morning, or even the next Shabbos, can infringe on the issur of hachana. It may only be folded shelo k’seder kipulo ha’rishon (not in line with its original creases), although many are strict to wait until Motzaei Shabbos to fold their tallis. One of the many reasons for stringency: Since many people have both a “weekday” and “Shabbos” tallis, folding a Shabbos tallis would be shaping it in its regular Shabbos format (and not shelo k’seder kipulo ha’rishon).

The tallis used on Shabbos should be folded with alacrity on Motzaei Shabbos. If it wasn’t folded Motzaei Shabbos, it should be folded immediately or shaken out the next morning, as mentioned. The practice of folding the tallis on Motzaei Shabbos is considered by some a segula (propitious) for shalom bayis (marital harmony).

*“One Minute Halacha” is a succinct daily presentation on practical Halacha in video, audio, and text formats, by HaRav Yosef Yeshaya Braun, shlita, Mara D’asra and member of the Badatz of Crown Heights. The daily One Minute Halacha can be accessed by phone at 718.989.9599, by email, halacha2go@gmail.com, or by WhatsApp 347.456.5665. More halacha discussion, with notes and sources, can be found at http://halacha2go.com