MIZBEACH/ALTAR IN TRIPLICATE
A clever and very hungry beggar went to a restaurant. Knowing that he could not pay, he asked the woman in charge if he could eat for free. She refused.
A clever and very hungry beggar went to a restaurant. Knowing that he could not pay, he asked the woman in charge if he could eat for free. She refused.
“I h-h-heard th-th-that y-y-you c-c-can h-h-help m-m-me,” said the stutterer to the speech therapist. “Indeed,” answered the therapist, “sit back and relax in the chair, look straight into my eyes and count slowly to ten.”
Late one night, local villagers found Hershele, bent over in a dark corner under a streetlight, intensely looking for something…
During the Sukkos holiday, the village residents saw Itzik, a Jew overburdened with financial debt, concentrating with extra kavana as he shook his lulav and esrog. He closed his eyes and shook the Dalet Minim to the right, to the left, in the middle, up and down with amazing fervor. “Itzik,” they asked him, “what exactly do you think about so intensely when you shake your lulav?”
Many subscribe to “Moshiach B’Parsha.” Each week, they enjoy well constructed classes for communicating various topics about Moshiach and Geula in an easy and accessible manner. Most of them do not know Rabbi Nissim Lagziel, the man who works to dig up these pearls of Geula from the treasures of Medrash, Gemara and the Rebbe’s sichos and to incorporate them into a ready to deliver, beautifully structured class.
Two Jews who still did not observe Torah and mitzvos met one another at the entrance to the local grocery store.
Two Jews appeared before the village rabbi requesting that he make a din Torah between them regarding a monetary dispute.
A poverty-stricken Jew turned to G-d and cried out with a plea from the depths of his heart: “Master of the Universe, You are all-powerful and unconstrained. To You, a thousand years is considered as one day. To You, millions of dollars are just small change!
A deeply religious Jew, who was not a member of the Chassidic community, was walking through the streets of Yerushalayim, gripped by a frenzied state of fear and trembling, as befits the month of Elul… Right past him, a Chassid walked by with a happy and cheerful expression on his face. “Business as usual”…
The famous Chassid, Reb Zalman Moshe HaYitzchaki, was not known as someone who was particularly stringent about using only “clean language.” His juicy farbrengens were interwoven with a wide range of choice words dedicated to the Yezer Hara and his allies. Words that the average person would refrain from saying, to say the least…
A mentally unstable individual decided one fine spring day that he was…deathly ill! He started to cough very loudly, groan excessively, and cry out from imaginary pains. One community member, a doctor by profession, decided to “handle” this special case. He invited him to undergo a thorough medical examination at his private clinic.
A central theme in Parshas Vaeschanan is the commandment of Achdus Hashem — the absolute oneness of G-d. The primary sources on this essential topic, in-fact, one of the principles of the Jewish faith, are included within the parsha. First, there is the famous passuk of “You shall know this day and consider it in your heart, that Hashem, He is G-d, in the heavens above, and upon the earth below; there is none else.” Then, there is the even more famous pasuk of Shema Yisrael, declaring that “Hashem is our G-d, Hashem is One.”
A police investigator brings a terrorist in for questioning. He asks him some questions, but the man answers nothing and gives no reaction. The investigator then threatens him that if he doesn’t start talking, he’ll be in for some serious trouble, yet the terrorist still won’t budge… Finally, left with no alternative, the investigator went over to him and gave him a couple of hard slaps in the face. The terrorist immediately began to talk: “Why didn’t you tell me that you spoke my language?”…