BOOSTING MY INNER “ALEF”

By Chaim Veknin

It was moving to have recently reached issue #1000 of Beis Moshiach. The image of a chassan I met on K’vutza suddenly came to mind.

On the Shabbos before his wedding, he did not stop crying, from the beginning of the farbrengen until Motzaei Shabbos. He had come to 770 a little after Gimmel Tammuz and felt that the Rebbe would appear any minute. He did not imagine that he would get married before he would get to see the Rebbe again.

When they started Beis Moshiach, the founders thought they were providing “first aid,” to strengthen emuna until the hisgalus; like a babysitter for a few hours until the parent comes home, but the parent…

Okay, but if we’ve passed number 1000, then this is the divine intent. And it’s not just any 1000 (elef) but 1000+ issues that instill the “alef” of Geula into every corner of the house.

***

One morning, Stalin woke up but could not find his pipe. The KGB began feverishly searching for the thief. The next morning, Stalin found his pipe in his pocket … but it was too late because the KGB had already found ten people who had signed that they admitted to the theft.

I think a lot can be learned from this little anecdote. When a Chassid demands something from you or you just feel that you are stuck in a spiritual sense, there are two possibilities. One is to search for the pipe in your pocket and admit your mistake, and the other is to seek to blame others and even find the right theoreticians who are willing to justify you and even offer their seal of approval to your mistake.

It used to be difficult because the world was not as smart, but today when wisdom and intellectualism abound there is no deed so heinous that one can’t find a perfectly reasonable explanation to justify it (see entry ‘Palestine’ in the encyclopedia).

Come, let us discuss our Stalin.

Since the Rebbe illuminates every topic in our lives in a positive way, the desire is to utilize those teachings in a positive way, but suddenly our Stalin realizes he can do whatever he feels like doing and find backing in the sichos. I woke up late – preparation for davening. A whole yeshiva semester wasted – the bachur is a p’nimi. Humiliating another – it’s for his own good!

Only inside do we know when the reason is correct and when we are looking to fudge …

***

There is one thing which, at least to my sense of things, is hardest for my Stalin. Despite the time that has passed, holding on to the Rebbe as “alive” requires nearly the same effort. The message of 5751-2 and kabbalas ha’malchus. And no, I don’t mean that people don’t accept it; I mean primarily with myself, and a few other people with whom I farbrenged on this topic.

Every time I speak about these topics I feel the nisayon (test) as strongly as the first time. This is a topic that needs to be constantly revitalized. Let a few weeks pass without reviewing the sichos of 5751-2, and it all goes right back to being as difficult as ever.

I’ll tell you straight, I don’t always manage to toe the uncompromising line of emuna, but I pray that even if I falter here and there, that I will know to keep quiet and fix myself and not reach a situation in which I enlist everyone to cover up for my mistake.

***

If it is necessary to have a magazine in a Chassidic home, I think it is primarily in order to proudly convey the Rebbe’s view, and to help us not be fazed by ourselves and the world or make allowances for ourselves.

In the 80’s, when there were groups and newspapers in the religious world that did not support the Rebbe on the topic of Mihu Yehudi, it was necessary to proudly convey the Rebbe’s view.

And later with the fights over shleimus ha’aretz, the Rebbe’s view had to be proudly and clearly conveyed.

But today? Today, everyone has already accepted the Rebbe’s view. Well, almost.

In order to read the Rebbe’s view about Mihu Yehudi you can read Mishpacha magazine, and for shleimus ha’aretz you can also open B’Sheva (the point here, of course, is not to endorse the other content of these magazines).

The Rebbe’s ideas and battles penetrated every crack in the media at large and the religious media in particular, and the only thing we need to revitalize nonstop are the sichos of 5751-2 and kabbalas ha’malchus by the people.

For an entire year we saw our father encourage the proclamation of Yechi and there is only one magazine which did not delete that year. Beis Moshiach.

We have two options, either to align ourselves to the truth or align the truth to ourselves.

In order to align oneself like a Chassid and not align the truth to our desires, it is recommended that you bring Beis Moshiach into your house.

So for folks like me that struggle with this issue, Beis Moshiach serves as a small dose of vaccine against my Stalin virus (note that I am saying MY, and I mean it for real, so please don’t anybody take offense…).