HOME IS WHERE THE YESHIVA IS

Rabbi Menachem Mendel Nachshon, rosh yeshiva of the Chabad yeshiva in Natzrat Ilit, in an interview about chinuch. * How does yeshiva turn into home for the bachurim? * What is the role of parents when their son is in yeshiva? * What should be done with a bachur who is weak academically but is a yerei Shamayim? * Why are the staff members of yeshivas these days so young? * This, and more, in a discussion that is relevant to parents and bachurim everywhere.

As we begin the new school year, hundreds of boys have made the transition from elementary school to high school. What advice do you have for them?

The Rebbe often emphasized that chinuch does not begin when a boy starts learning in yeshiva high school. Chinuch begins long before that, starting in the womb. The Rebbe explains how every detail in chinuch is important and compares a child to a sapling. Any defect in the seed will affect the outcome of the tree. A child imbibes the atmosphere of childhood and elementary school, and obviously this will have a great impact on him when he reaches yeshiva.

Chassidishe chinuch begins, first and foremost, in the home. There is no substitute for what parents can implant in a child. This is the basis for the child’s chinuch. The Rebbe Rashab stresses the importance of an atmosphere of yiras Shamayim for a child and we know that the child’s inner world is shaped while he is at home, even before he goes to school.

When a boy enters high school, you can see what kind of chinuch he got and how prepared he is for this stage of his life. Today there are many programs for children that instill in them the chayus of Chassidishkait, whether it’s in camp or being with the Rebbe for Tishrei. These programs draw the children into the world of Chassidus so that later, when they go to yeshiva, it’s not new for them.

Once the boy enters yeshiva, it’s the job of the staff to guide him and bring him into the world of Tomchei T’mimim. In high school, tremendous emphasis is placed on the mashpia having a personal relationship with each bachur. This relationship shapes the Chassidishe world of the boy. This is why bachurim shluchim are a welcome part of yeshiva today, because they are role models who are close with the bachurim. If a mashpia is seen as more distant, a young shliach can be closer with each bachur. The talmidim in high school are looking for models to emulate and we make sure that they have the right ones.

The staff also makes an effort to always be close with the talmidim. Every bachur can find someone, a teacher or mashpia to be close with and connect to. This is what builds him up and enables him to acclimate to the world of Tomchei T’mimim.

How can parents be of help at this stage?

The role of parents is to work along with the hanhala and to provide the hanhala with the support it needs for their son. We often experience a strong need for cooperation between parents and the hanhala.

I jokingly say that just like there are Four Sons in the Hagada, there are similar categories of parents. There is the “tam” who brings his son to yeshiva and from that point on does not care how his son is doing; as far as he is concerned, it’s the responsibility of the hanhala. He acts like the person who goes into a restaurant to eat, even though he knows that there are problems with its kashrus, because he maintains that it’s the mashgiach’s responsibility, not his.

There is the “one who does not know how to ask.” He truly wants to support the hanhala but he has no idea what his son is going through in yeshiva and how he can be of help. As far as he is concerned, as long as they haven’t called him about any problems with his son, apparently the situation is fine and he sees no reason to call the yeshiva.

Then there is the ideal situation of the “wise one,” who knows he has to take an interest. There are parents who call and ask how they can be of help. They keep in touch with the hanhala and with the staff. With this sort of cooperation, the child will benefit tremendously.

Parents need to know that a child who goes away to yeshiva still needs plenty of support. That can be in the form of daily phone conversations and in sending packages. Each parent has to find the way to provide his child with support. At this stage, it is important for a child to feel warmth and love which will give him the strength he needs in his new situation.

A lot has been said about the dangers of the Internet and the technological world around us. How can we protect our children from these enticements?

It is very difficult. This is quite a challenge for parents who are usually a few steps behind when it comes to technological know-how. Unfortunately, my experience shows that children are very knowledgeable in this regard. A child can own a small, innocent looking gadget which connects him to the most undesirable things. Today, there are many places with free Internet access like buses and other public places. I heard from a rebbi who came back from the chinuch conference in shock, having learned of all the possibilities available today on the Internet.

So given the circumstances today, the answer is that you can never close your eyes. You need to be constantly alert to make sure a child is not exposed to unacceptable things. There is no guarantee, no being 100% sure when it comes to “Sur MeiRa”; you have to employ every manner of vigilance in order to protect a child.

The tools that we have to protect a child is in strengthening the positive, “assai tov,” in increasing his Chassidishkait, having him immersed in positive things so that his spiritual world will be strong enough to handle the challenges from the outside.

There’s a story about a guest who came to Tomchei T’mimim in Lubavitch and asked the Rebbe Rayatz why the bachurim demanded so much of themselves in their devotion to learning, davening at length, etc. The Rebbe explained that it’s like heating a stove very well Erev Shabbos so that on Shabbos, when the coals die down, it will still be warm. That is Tomchei T’mimim’s answer to the world, to turn up the Chassidishe heat as much as possible.

The more a child will be submerged in a Chassidishe atmosphere, in farbrengens, in hiskashrus to the Rebbe, the less he will be looking for attractions outside yeshiva. We need to make Chassidishe inyanim beloved to them so that they live with these things.

I think the problems with the Internet etc. aren’t problems just for the yeshiva but for the home too. I might even say they are bigger problems at home, because of their accessibility. Whereas, in yeshiva, there is a staff that deals with these things and keeps their eyes open, at home a bachur has more freedom. It is as much the responsibility of the parents as it is of the yeshiva.

What do you do when you have a Chassidishe bachur with yiras Shamayim who is weak academically? We want him to remain in Tomchei T’mimim but he can’t keep up.

In a yechidus with R’ Reuven Dunin, the Rebbe said one line to him that I think is the key when working with bachurim: “Nobody was born with havana; the Torah was given to all of us. The gadol who learned for years and wrote s’farim and chiddushim has no larger share in Torah than a child who learns Chumash with Rashi.” That line guides us in our work with bachurim. There is no child who cannot learn at all; the question is whether the level of learning is suitable for him or whether he needs his own curriculum.

When a bachur has a hard time learning, the staff tailors the learning to his level; the main thing being that he should be immersed in learning and should use his abilities to the utmost. This requires extra work on the part of the staff, but a way can always be found to help a bachur find his place in learning.

We had a bachur here who was well behaved and had yiras Shamayim, who found it very hard to learn Gemara. His rebbi decided to develop his learning in other ways. He had this student study Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim. He spent several hours a day learning Shulchan Aruch, and at the end of the year he made a siyum on learning the entire thing. Obviously, this was deeply gratifying to him and he was involved in learning that suited him. This bachur became a diligent learner, since he found the part of Torah that suited him and where he could be successful.

Each situation has to be assessed individually and special situations cannot be allowed to affect the usual curriculum. What’s needed is some creativity on the part of the staff so that every bachur can find his place in learning.

The same holds true for bachurim in the opposite situation, those with tremendous capabilities who can do more than the average student. Here too, the staff needs to direct the bachur and tailor a learning program to meet his superior needs. There are bachurim who learn material outside the s’darim and complete entire tractates, and there are bachurim who complete all of Shas. The job of the staff is to instill a chayus for learning so each bachur is learning what is appropriate for him.

How do you get bachurim to love to learn?

When you teach a bachur how to learn, how to get into the world of the sugya, he will naturally enjoy this and the learning will become part of his life. A bachur who learns a sugya and begins to understand how to approach it, how to prepare it, and how to understand the svaros, gets to love it. When a teacher gives a good shiur and the bachur understands each sugya clearly, he will enjoy the learning and want to learn more. Bachurim enjoy a good svara and learning in depth.

The Rebbe once expressed his surprise to bachurim in yechidus, “Does a bachur need to learn because of the mashgiach?!” A bachur needs to get involved in learning to the point that he wants to learn on his own, not because of the mashgiach or orders from the yeshiva.

How do you get a bachur to learn independently?

There is a huge difference between high schools and beis midrash in this regard. A high school’s program is strictly delineated. Bachurim must follow the program and learn the sugya that the yeshiva is learning. Of course, they are encouraged to learn outside of hours, but the emphasis is not always on outside learning of other Masechtos, rather on delving into the sugya being learned.

For example, a bachur who is good in learning will be directed by his rebbi to put more into the sugya, to learn more commentaries, to get to know additional angles to the sugya and more material on the topic being learned. In high school there are many aspects of development that can be focused upon and advanced.

There are also bachurim who learn other Masechtos in their spare time. In recent years there have been the Dor Dei’a contests, sponsored by R’ Sholom Dovber Drizin, in which bachurim learn entire s’darim of Mishnayos by heart. There are bachurim who learned all of Z’raim by heart, word for word.

In beis midrash, on the other hand, there is more latitude for developing one’s personal learning and for allowing every bachur to develop his talents. That is the main job of the staff in yeshiva g’dola, to habituate the students to individual study so that every bachur can use all his abilities in learning. In beis midrash there are many bachurim who learn entire Masechtos outside the learning curriculum.

You are a rosh yeshiva in a high school and a beis midrash. Is there a difference in the chinuch?

The Rebbe writes in one of his letters about the difference between the Torah of Olam HaZeh and the Torah of Yemos HaMoshiach. He gives an example from the difference between high school and beis midrash where just as the Torah is the same Torah, and yet everyone knows there is a difference between high school and beis midrash, the same is true for Torah nowadays and Torah of Yemos HaMoshiach.

It’s the same learning, but the student has moved on to the next stage in his personal development, in the quality of his learning.

In beis midrash, a bachur is expected to “swim” in the sea of Torah. It’s the stage when a bachur becomes self-sufficient and takes responsibility for himself.

There is a mindset that thinks that in Lubavitch there are no lamdanim, as though we put effort into Chassidish behavior and hiskashrus but not much into scholarship. Is this the reality?

No. There is no lack of shluchim who are outstanding scholars too. I have a chavrusa every day (over the phone) who, as a bachur, was one of the lamdanim in yeshiva. Even after he went on shlichus, he did not give up on learning every day. He is as involved in Gemara learning as he is in his shlichus. In Lubavitch we don’t show off, but we don’t lack for lamdanim. The proof is the many maggidei shiur and roshei yeshiva who learned in Chabad yeshivos.

Do you think there is a contradiction between investing in chinuch for Chassidish behavior and chinuch for strong learning? One might think you can’t focus on both with the same intensity.

You could have asked that same question of the Rebbe Rashab when he opened Tomchei T’mimim. There is no contradiction between them. When a bachur has a Chassidishe chinuch, there is no difference between his immersion in learning and his chayus for those inyanim of hiskashrus and Chassidic conduct. Just as learning Chassidus does not adversely affect the learning of Nigleh and you can be enthusiastic about both of them, so too, you can be mechanech for Chassidish behavior along with a strong focus on learning.

A bachur must concentrate on both areas. These are two aspects of avodas Hashem, just as we are required to have both Ahavas Hashem and Yiras Hashem. You might be able to discuss which comes first, but there is no contradiction between them. It is not possible for one aspect of k’dusha to adversely affect another aspect of k’dusha. The Rebbe proved this even in learning when he asked questions in sugiyos in Nigleh and answered them according to Chassidus.

As far as a bachur who seems to have an imbalance between these two areas, for example, when he is weak in learning, but you want to strengthen his yiras Shamayim, our Rebbeim established that the yeshiva’s primary role is to provide the bachur a place where he can grow in yiras Shamayim.

There is a famous letter from the Rebbe to a yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel from his first year as Rebbe, 11 Adar II 5711 in which he writes, “In earlier days, the role of yeshivos and Talmudei Torah was mainly in Torah study and growth in that area. The fulfillment of mitzvos and observing Jewish practices were a given for every Jewish boy and girl, due to the chinuch they received at home and in the environment they were in during the hours spent not within the walls of the beis midrash and yeshiva. Times changed and the role of yeshiva and Talmud Torah now is also, and primarily, to make the talmid into a yerei Shamayim, a religiously observant Jew, and after that, a lamdan, and in the yeshivos founded by our leaders, also a Chassid.”

So a yeshiva is not a “university for learning Torah,” but a place where a bachur can receive chinuch and support for yiras Shamayim and Chassidish behavior. A yeshiva is primarily a place of chinuch. When there was a question about whether a bachur should be allowed to stay in yeshiva, the Rebbe said to always do all you can to retain him, even if he does not excel in learning; the main thing is to be in Tomchei T’mimim, because a yeshiva is a place to acquire yiras Shamayim and Chassidish conduct.

The Rebbe also demanded that the T’mimim be lamdanim.

It depends who you are talking about. If you are talking about the hanhala, the staff needs to know that first and foremost the yeshiva is a place of chinuch, without considering a bachur’s level of knowledge. As hanhala, we know that our red line is anything that undermines yiras Shamayim and until then, everything will be done so that a bachur remains in yeshiva.

As far as the bachur is concerned, of course he cannot suffice with Chassidish behavior, because he is supposed to toil in Torah study as the Rebbe demanded. A bachur has no other involvement but Torah. As the Rebbe once put it, a bachur who doesn’t know how to learn demeans our Rebbeim.

In recent years we are seeing that hanhalos are comprised of young men, as is the case in your yeshiva. What do you think of this change?

In previous generations, they were able to create an atmosphere that relied on Chassidishe personalities. Today, we need people who can speak the language of the bachurim. The world is changing rapidly. Under these circumstances, we need staff members who can speak to bachurim and understand where they’re coming from. I am not, G-d forbid, denigrating older staff members with years of experience, but it is certainly the case that young staff members are an important addition to our yeshivos.

A big part of the chinuch of a bachur in high school has to do with the ability to listen to him and understand him. In our experience, young staff members are excellent at this.

A yeshiva is a home for the boys. If a bachur does not feel at home in yeshiva, then we are losing out big time on the opportunity to guide him. The staff needs to be alert to what is going on with the bachurim so that the bachurim will love yeshiva and feel they belong. In a letter that the Rebbe wrote to R’ Nissan Nemanov, he said, “In general, more and more effort is needed in [addressing] the lack, to my sorrow, in the matter of hiskashrus to the yeshiva and its issues.” The Rebbe wants the staff to cultivate a bond in the bachur towards the yeshiva, i.e. that he should feel that the yeshiva is his home, that this place supports him and people understand him.

We don’t compromise on anything. We also need mashpiim who are Chassidishe role models that the bachurim can learn from. It used to be that mashpiim were older people and the bachurim had to approach them and want to establish a connection with them. Today, the mashpiim have to know how to approach a bachur.

How do you approach inyanei Moshiach and Geula?

First of all, the ATaH organization regularly holds contests that encourage the learning of inyanei Moshiach and Geula. I’ll tell you something that happened when I was in yeshiva, which was when the Rebbe constantly spoke about Moshiach. The bachurim approached the mashgiach, R’ Zushe Posner, and asked him for time to be set aside in yeshiva for the study of inyanei Moshiach and Geula. R’ Zushe told us that we need to learn the material studied in yeshiva and if we learned properly, we would discover Moshiach and Geula in every inyan. He promised us that in every sugya he would show us where it could be found.

Although the bachurim love to search out the topic as it is discussed in the Rebbe’s sichos, the truth is that in every sugya there is Moshiach and Geula. When you approach the learning that way, you find it.

There are yeshivos that have a special time to learn inyanei Moshiach and Geula during the yeshiva schedule, and this was approved by the Rebbe.

The chinuch ought to be to learn inyanei Moshiach and Geula, as suitable for each place. Sometimes, you see that if it becomes “official,” it doesn’t work so well because the bachurim lose the hergesh for it. It’s when the learning is outside the regular curriculum, at a time that the bachurim arrange for themselves, that there is more chayus.

Each yeshiva needs to weigh whether it’s better to include inyanei Moshiach and Geula as part of the curriculum or outside the curriculum. The main thing is that the bachurim should have a chayus to learn it as the Rebbe asked.

How do you train the bachurim to “live” with Moshiach?

That’s the job of the staff, particularly the mashpiim. Today, training a bachur to live with the Rebbe is synonymous with living with Moshiach. You need to speak about it and farbreng about it a lot. When you convey to a bachur that every inyan has a connection to Geula, that you can see Moshiach in everything, the bachur himself understands how to live with Moshiach. It’s part of the chinuch of living with the Rebbe, to think – what does the Rebbe want of us?

The bachurim are living in a world that is entirely Rebbe, and they truly live with the Rebbe. Our job is to convey this reality, this way of life. The atmosphere of Tomchei T’mimim is the atmosphere of Rebbe, and the requirement is that in every inyan, the Rebbe is dominant. A bachur needs to learn to measure everything by “What does the Rebbe want of me, what does he expect of me?” When we speak about the Rebbe and tell stories about the Rebbe and farbreng about the Rebbe, then the bachurim live with the Rebbe.

The staff’s job is to connect the bachurim to the Rebbe and it’s not a simple job. Just like Chassidus is about love of Hashem, but you can’t order someone to love, you have to train him in that, the same is true of living with the Rebbe. You need to give over, to inspire, to teach, to instill the Rebbe in every way, and consequently, they will live with the Rebbe.

In conclusion:

We need to put in the work and, with Hashem’s help, we will be able to tell the Rebbe, “see what we have raised.” With the chinuch of the T’mimim we will bring the Geula.