An internal dialogue which most of us will identify with
This article is meant only for people like me, who are still not living Geula, who did not make the transition, who are still stuck in galus.
“The time for your redemption has arrived!” “We need to publicize that we are the generation of Geula!” “We need to get ready!” “We need to be a vessel!” “We need to open our eyes!” “We need to live Moshiach!” “We need to draw the Geula inside!”
We need, we need, we need. Very nice. So, if I understood correctly, I need to start living Geula. A clear horaa. What’s the problem? But instead of living Geula, I find myself staring off into space and scratching my head. In deep concentration I go through all my mental files and the only thing my inner computer finds is one big, burning question mark. Thank you very much.
You cannot say I am ignoring the call of the hour. After all, it is the shlichus of our generation, is it not? This revolutionary thought goes everywhere with me. At least in a makif (peripheral/external) way. But it doesn’t quite fill me. It sometimes penetrates like a flash of lightning but then disappears. “We need to live Moshiach.” Hmmm. Where exactly do I put that?
I am very busy dealing with my daily life. In this area too, there is no shortage of things I “need” to do. Every day, every moment. I barely hang in there and sometimes I almost fall. We need to draw the Geula inward? Yes. We need to be redeemed? There is no question about that.
But between you and me, I don’t have that much time to think about what else “needs” to be done. My daily planner is full and I have no time for myself.
When exactly should I be redeemed – between work and mopping the floor? Or between classes and davening? Or after shopping and before cooking? Of course I am waiting for Moshiach and I have no doubt that he is coming. When? I hope today. Do I really believe he will come today? And when exactly am I waiting for him? How is this expressed? Hmmm … let’s not go there.
At least I do hafatza. I convey the Besuras Ha’Geula to others, so they will also know what “needs” to be done. They also need to be redeemed. But I think that they are also very busy managing their daily tasks.
Am I not sad that the Sh’china is in galus? That’s a big question for a small person like me. Doesn’t galus bother me? Obviously, it is not good. The Rebbe cried a lot over this. We have to really not want galus, but between you and me … what connection does it have to me? In the meantime, the bills need to be paid, a child’s learning difficulties need to be dealt with as does a child’s allergy, and the small apartment where we bump into something in every corner, and the difficulties in covering the Yom Tov expenses. And from where am I supposed to find the strength to daven properly? And to learn and to say Chitas … and the chaos around us, in the Knesset, the threats from Iran, Syria, Obama, illegal aliens, crime, is that not enough?
Endless pressure and to think about the galus too?! My personal situation is not enough? At least in one area we are all in agreement; there are no differences of opinion here. True, it’s rare, but here – we are actually all of one mind: we all sigh like one body and one heart and say as one: “He should come already … he should be nisgaleh already … let him redeem us already.”
The situation is really not that great. Wherever I look there are hardships and difficulties. Every home bears a burden. It is painful to see so much weariness on the faces of Anash. We don’t have the strength anymore. What should we do? How did we reach this situation? The Rebbe speaks of Geula with simcha and goodness of heart and we are simply tired. Where does the strength go? To the war of survival. Another day and another day. Doing what needs to be done and collapsing at night.
Most of us are busy hanging in there, in our personal galus. We work to drag a galus of 2000 years on our poor, aching backs, to the point that we do not have the time and strength to get involved in our personal Geula.
That’s the role and job of Moshiach, is it not? He should do something too, ad masai?
WHERE AM I IN THE GEULA?
But the Rebbe insists, everything is ready, everything. The world. We just need to open our eyes. And we look (here and there) and don’t actually see … Geula? Really? Now? Where? And if everything is ready, what, in Heaven’s name, isn’t ready?
We suffice with a question, we sigh, we take a deep breath and continue as usual. With the heavy load on our back, in the familiar routine, a path we’ve walked for thousands of years already, a galus path. With the eternal hope that one day it will happen. That it will be over and done with and we will hear the herald of Geula, may he redeem us.
Then suddenly, between fighting with the bank manager and running to the babysitter, a moment of quiet. Of contemplation.
Let’s say the world is really ready, entirely. Then what is missing? The answer is very simple and really not surprising.
What is still not ready? Us! Aside from a few singular individuals who perhaps are already living a life of Geula. But I am not yet one of them; I am still not ready. With all the slogans, with everything that I know, understand, believe, learn, teach, convey to others. With all that, I am still not ready.
This is definitely somewhat problematic because I am the missing link, the one who connects galus to Geula, the link that needs to start living Geula. Me and you, and he and she. Us.
I simply did not understand this fully. I did not see precisely how and where I come into the picture. I did not know that this is something I need to do alone. And I also did not know just what to do. My grasp of Geula was murky. I thought that somehow … on its own … and the main thing, it should happen already. How much can you wait for him?
But the truth is that he came. A while ago. And not only came but even managed to do his part and to give it over to us. And he is waiting. For me. For you. For us. And I thought we were the ones who were waiting. Mistake. We are mistaken. I look around me and see that I did not remain alone in galus. Most of us (except for the few hidden special ones) are still not ready. Still not “there” yet. Still battling the darkness. Trying to see. To open their eyes. Like a baby after birth … blinking … not seeing, not comprehending.
We, as Lubavitchers, “soldiers of the house of Dovid,” have a hard time being redeemed?! How can this be? But why not? What is so not understandable? It is really hard! I don’t remember that going out of Egypt was easy and pleasant. Did someone tell us it would be simple? 1, 2, 3 and that’s it? Who is “there” already? Who succeeded?
Do we already have some Geula experts with a lot of experience? I am not talking about oratory, quotes, and knowing where things are written. I mean guides. Not just people who are strong when it comes to theory, but mainly action. Geula guides who made the transition, who passed the barrier already, who live Geula the way the Rebbe meant. If there are any such individuals, please run over and take the flag and the loudspeaker and guide us in our language. How to identify the inner, painful galus and how to get out of it. How to really live Moshiach! We need you, badly! Any help will be gratefully accepted.
TIME FOR GESTATION, TIME FOR BIRTH
It is not something that happens a lot, this final Geula. I, for one, have never seen anything like it. Maybe in a movie, about the Splitting of the Sea, with dramatic music in the background. That is somehow easier to accept, that something like this happened 3000 years ago. But today? Now? For us? We speak about an event no less dramatic which will change the entire world.
We are talking about the revelation of G-d Himself, of His entering His beloved home, here in this pathetic world which has absorbed tears, pain, suffering, persecution, blood. Is this for real? Nobody is trying to pull one over on us?
We have yet to internalize it. Obviously not. An encounter with G-d? No more and no less? His revelation in the world?
Don’t you think it’s kind of scary? The end of persecution, fears, suffering? A world that is entirely rectified and good?
Tremendous news like this takes time until the mind gets used to it and absorbs it and slowly, we become open to a new and unfamiliar reality. It is certainly not a matter of culpability, laziness or indifference. It is simply a matter of time and “ripening.” Moshe Rabbeinu, the faithful shepherd, spent forty years in the desert with the Jewish people even though there was a much shorter route. Why was this done? Hashem gave His people time to absorb and internalize the dramatic change. Moshe led them in the desert for forty years in order to make the transition not only with their feet but with their souls. He enabled them, with love, to change their inner reality, to be freed from the habits of galus in attitude, outlook, thought, speech and action, and to be open to a new and unfamiliar dimension: an encounter with Hashem Himself and Kabbalas Ha’Torah with a p’nimius.
40 years! We cannot be faulted. Nobody can come to us with complaints about us still being “there.” We are in a historic moment that never was before and will never be again.
Take note: We are the ones who are wrestling with the transition from galus to Geula, each in his and her place. We are the fabled seventh generation. When they wrote about our challenging time, they were referring to us.
What can be done? We did not choose this. It was assigned to us without our being consulted. And anyway, what a privilege! We are the army of the Rebbe Melech HaMoshiach!
In the final moments, before the advent of Geula, it is really not the time for a vacation. I have yet to see a woman relaxing with some fun activity before candle lighting Erev Shabbos…
What is being asked of us already? Just to move from one dimension to another? And to forget everything we thought? To turn an entirely new page? A sort of “Lech lecha” but on a much different level.
Apparently, we have much more strength than we imagined. Because doing this is like splitting the sea. It is work that requires a total inner makeover. A “v’nahapoch hu” on all levels without a single tiny corner left without illumination and rectification. Did we really think we would do this on the fly? True, we are midgets on giants’ soldiers who already prepared everything, but even midgets can have it hard, right?
ACCEPTING THE SHLICHUS, “YES SIR!”
How reassuring to know that in the end we will succeed. Without a doubt. The Rebbe does not leave us a choice. Boruch Hashem.
Perhaps we will make peace with the fact that we really have to do this. But where do we begin? Perhaps with greater understanding that there is a shlichus here. For all of us. No exceptions for … and it is impossible to dodge. There are no excuses and no exemptions. Each one is a soldier, beloved, important, and irreplaceable.
And from here we move on to the next step. To accepting the shlichus for real. In a mature, serious, inward kind of way. By internalizing the fact that this is it. This is my main avoda. This is what I am here for. This is my shlichus. The main thing, center of my life. My path and direction. Something heavenly that we don’t do when we have some free time. I must do all I can do.
It definitely does not always suit us. Who likes a burden? But what is the alternative? To remain in galus? That sounds obvious, but have we really committed to this fateful shlichus? In a moment of introspection and awareness and with all our heart? True, the Rebbe gave us the shlichus, but – did we take it? And really commit ourselves to it? Did we make a firm resolution that does not allow us to wiggle out, neither left nor right, based on our mood? Are we using all of our talents and abilities for Moshiach and the Geula?
And I ask myself, did I ever really tell the Rebbe: “Yes sir, you can rely on me?”
ME IN GEULA – HOW DOES IT LOOK?
What do we do? How do we do this? As always, the answer is: together. Nobody can and nobody needs to do this alone. We need to hear and see that he and she and they too are on the same page in the same script with the same challenges and difficulties. And like us, are fighting and working and expanding the vessel. We are all battling to be reborn as a new entity.
What helps? To collaborate, talk, ask, take an interest, learn – the whole package. And the main thing, doing it together.
“How’s it going with your personal Geula? Where are you up to in your birth process? Stuck? Progressing? Learning? Confused? Flowing? Wavering? Exhausted? Brave and daring? Hesitant? Or jumping in the sea already? Please take me along with you!”
Habit is like a spring. You can press it down for a few seconds and change its shape but the moment you let it go, boing, it reverts to its original shape. It’s not exactly encouraging. And yet it is encouraging because our original shape is Geula!
Geula is a reality familiar to our neshama because the neshama was never actually in galus. Galus, after all, is the right thing in the wrong place. So Geula means to return to our true and proper place. To be with our king, “Dovid Malka Meshicha,” in our land and close to our covenantal partner, Hashem, King of kings.
What’s needed is to expand the vessel. Again, how do we do this? First of all, to be open to the possibility that it is really happening. To me, you, us. And now, this minute. To introduce pictures and thoughts of Geula. To allow them to roll around our heads, to play with them, to become excited, to be changed by them.
I am in Geula. How does this look when all my soul powers are fully perfected and revealed? The powers of Kesser, of the intellect, emotion, action? How do I act with the power of emuna at its peak expression? With a strong taanug/delight and ratzon/will, without interference in my avodas Hashem? How does my Ahavas Yisroel look in Geula? How does my house look? Where do I live? How will my relationship with my spouse be? How will our children be in Geula? What will happen with my bank account? Yes, yes … And also pictures of Geula as respects the housework that I am still doing alone. And How will my real body look? A Geula body? Which powers of mine will be revealed? Maybe we can even make salads? How will the gentiles treat us? What will they say on the news? Who will I meet?
PICTURES AND IMAGES OF GEULA
I am in front of the Rebbe, trembling and crying in joy. I am facing the Beis HaMikdash in Yerushalayim. I see the service of the Kohanim and hear the singing of the Levites. I am going toward the Big Encounter with Hashem. In the rebuilt Yerushalayim in our beloved, complete Holy Land.
We always have the time to think about what we want. That is precisely the point. In order for there to be Geula, we need to think Geula! True, the neshama is in a redemptive state but the body is like a spring, i.e. it is very easy to revert to galus thoughts, to limitations and darkness. It’s not the end of the world. That is what we are about. We fall, get up, and try again. The main thing is not to give up.
The Rebbe says that in the past it was easier to believe in Geula because it was something in the future. The belief in Geula was only makif. It did not bother us to be in galus. The belief gave us direction and meaning, but did not demand drastic change.
But now, hold on just one second, it’s happening now? Not in the future? Really, they are not pulling a fast one on us? Each time they said it would happen and in the end, gornisht.
If it is happening now, it is happening to me too! Do I really deserve Geula? With all my shortcomings? Where am I and what exactly is fixed already … and the spring jumps back…
INNER GALUS – WHAT IS THAT?
What is the state of galus?
Galus is everything that is still separate from Hashem, from His will, from the truth, from that which is good. Galus is the right thing in the wrong place. Galus is disconnection. An inner galus means being disconnected from ourselves, from what we truly are. Each of us recognizes the feeling that deep within us there is the “real me.” We dream of the day when this “me” will emerge. In the meantime, there is only yearning and a feeling of missing out.
A Jew in an inner galus is in the wrong place within himself. It is an illusory state. Delusions which confuse our minds and place us in a painful and not quite real “reality.”
Delusions which hold our powerful soul powers in captivity. A Jew who does not recognize his true worth is an inner galus. “I can’t. “I am not worthy.” “Weak.” “I don’t deserve it.” “I will never have.” “I am a victim.” “They took from me.” “They did not give me.” All are expressions of an inner galus.
Sadness, depression, anger, pride, nervousness, stress – galus! Fears? Confusion? Doubts? Galus. What, all my worries and lack of confidence and all the complications are galus?!
AN INNER GALUS IS WHERE HASHEM IS NOT
For sure, ein od milvado – there is nothing but Him, but galus is where He and His will are still not out in the open. And it depends solely on us. This is our true avoda, to identify the painful reality of galus and to draw within us the redeeming words of the Rebbe.
The greatest galus is, when it comes down to it, only in our minds. Galus thoughts are those which disconnect us and all the details of our lives from Hashem. Geula comes the moment we are able to see correctly, to connect and reveal within every detail that Hashem is here. That He created whatever it might be. Runs it. Gives it life. That He is actually that very thing.
The Rebbe talks Geula and we think galus. We are the first generation of Geula … Geula … Geula … the words slowly penetrate, like the first words after a long anesthetization. G-E-U-L-A … fighting its way through heavy fog which still confuses the mind. G-E-U-L-A … like a new program trying to overtake an old broadcast on the radio.
What am I doing? What am I waiting for? Been there, done that. Should I continue waiting? This has not proven to be a good choice. Maybe the time has come to do something I have not done before, jump into the sea. At least to try it.
Geula is not theoretical. Someone who really knows but still does not take action, is still not “there.”
As always, action is the main thing. It is still hard for me. What do I pray for? That Hashem give me the strength to survive? In my galus? That does not seem reasonable to me. My prayers also need a new “touch” of Geula!
The change is really on all levels, leaving nothing behind. Including prayers.
“Hashem, please, guide me on the path to my personal Geula! Please put Geula thoughts into my head, help me change my galus nature! Please redeem me, I am ready!”
How? What? How do we do this? What do you do when you want a house or a new car? What do you do when your oldest is getting married and you don’t know what to do? One thing you know, you want to make a wedding. You find out. You inquire. You look things up. You live the wedding.
The train to the Geula may have been a little stuck. At least for me it was. But now it is beginning to move. Most of us needed this time to “get” that now it is really in our hands.
Moshiach cannot “live Moshiach” for us. It is for us to do. Along with this mission, he gave us the ability to do it. As we know, nothing stands in the way of one’s will. It is possible and success is assured.
We are all in the same boat with the same difficulties and the same mission. We are all in a battle to get through the barrier and finally draw the Geula inside and start feeling the Geula.
SO, WHAT DO WE DO?
Does anyone really know? Yes. There is one who truly knows what to do and how to do it. He is our guide for getting out of this final galus.
The Rebbe, Nasi Ha’dor, Moshe of the generation, the faithful shepherd, Ohev Yisroel, advisor, prophet, judge, final redeemer, Melech HaMoshiach.
What does the Rebbe tell us? That the gateway to Geula is, first of all, to actually welcome Moshiach.
“And from this it is understood that the only thing that now remains in the avoda of shlichus is to actually welcome Moshiach Tzidkeinu so that he can actually fulfill his shlichus and take all the Jewish people out of galus.” (Sicha, Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sarah, Kinus HaShluchim 5752)
The Rebbe knows precisely where we are now and what our true difficulties are. What did the Rebbe tell us about current circumstances?
“Practically speaking … despite the ‘commotion,’ we see that there is a difficulty in instilling an awareness and feeling that we are literally at the threshold of Yemos HaMoshiach to the point of ‘living’ inyanei Moshiach and Geula … The advice for this is through learning Torah in inyanei Moshiach and Geula, because with the power of Torah (G-d’s wisdom which is above the world) to change man’s nature, for even when emotionally he is still, G-d forbid, outside the idea of Geula (since he still did not exit his inner galus), through learning Torah in inyanei Geula he is raised to a level and state of Geula with the knowledge and awareness and feeling that ‘hinei zeh ba.’”
(Sicha, Shabbos Parshas Balak 5751)
“We see that there is a difficulty …” Yes. There certainly is. We, on our own, will not change our nature. We need “professional” help. Because when it comes to our feelings and our habits we are still not in Geula mode. It’s not surprising; we simply still do not know what Geula is. And if we don’t know, we learn.
I know, we are all busy. But it is not a good idea to wait until we have time, because we all know that that won’t happen. Every day, learn inyanei Geula with a chavrusa for ten minutes. It’s doable. It does wonders. It’s like “Vitamin Geula,” which creates simcha and chayus and a Geula feeling. Starting a weekly shiur on inyanei Geula and Moshiach, to learn together in order to jump into the sea together – that is also possible. And most effective. And it connects us directly to the new reality: the reality of Moshiach and Geula.
May we all learn Geula, talk Geula, think Geula, feel Geula and live Geula. With best wishes for a pleasant Geula.
Yechi Adoneinu Moreinu V’Rabbeinu, Melech HaMoshiach L’olam Va’ed!
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