R’ Amram Shatal, shliach in Tel Mond, spent many a Tishrei with the Rebbe. He had special experiences as well as private audiences with the Rebbe in which he was given instructions and saw wonders. He shares his Tishrei experiences with us.
R’ Shatal passing by with his son for kos shel bracha | R’ Shatal passing by the Rebbe with his son for lekachTISHREI BY THE REBBE – FUEL FOR THE WHOLE YEAR
Since my first time by the Rebbe, Tishrei 5733, I spent Tishrei with the Rebbe nearly every year. This month provides the fuel for the activities I do the rest of the year. I received my chinuch for love and hiskashrus to the Rebbe from my teachers at the vocational school in Kfar Chabad. I would like to mention R’ Meir Bostomsky, R’ Tzvi Greenwald, and R’ Moshe Edery in particular. While I was yet a boy, I wrote to the Rebbe a number of times and received clear and encouraging answers.
In 5728, when I was a yeshiva student and was having difficulty understanding the Gemara and other Jewish subjects, I wrote to the Rebbe and asked for a bracha. The Rebbe responded with the phrase, “yogaata u’matzasa, taamin” (if you toil and find [are successful], believe that). These few words encouraged me and I felt that after that, my heart and mind were open to learning. I began understanding and absorbing the material more and felt that the Rebbe had effected a change within me for the better.
When I graduated, I was drafted into the armored corps. Right after I was released I became engaged and that year, with the consent of my new wife, I flew for Tishrei.
Although I defined myself as a Lubavitcher Chassid, I was still “green” when it came to customs and practices. I won’t forget that trip to the Rebbe, the preparations and the actual flight. We landed on 18 Elul and were welcomed by the talmidim who learned in 770. When I inquired about the schedule of events in 770, they told me that I should wait near the door because the Rebbe would come from his house in a few minutes and then I could see him.
I listened to their advice and remained to wait for the Rebbe. There were many Chassidim and T’mimim around me at the time but surprisingly, the Rebbe got out of his car and they all disappeared within seconds. Only I remained in my place, silent and excited. The Rebbe came to the main entrance of 770, touched the mezuza, turned to me and gave me a penetrating look. He then waved his hand encouragingly and walked into the building. That was my first encounter with the Rebbe. Of course, I said the SheHechiyanu blessing.
Throughout that month I tried to stand near the platform behind the Rebbe as often as possible. One time, after davening was over, the Rebbe turned around and while still listening to the gabbai’s announcements I felt that the Rebbe was staring at me. I was ashamed and looked down. After long seconds that felt like eternity, I was sure the Rebbe had removed his gaze and I looked up, but to my astonishment, the Rebbe looked at me again. Three times I lowered my head and the third time, the Rebbe smiled broadly at me. It was a special look that I have never forgotten.
A few years later, at the Simchas Torah farbrengen, I experienced something absolutely otherworldly. 770 was extremely crowded and as I did at every farbrengen, I prepared a cup of mashke and waited between sichos for the Rebbe to answer my l’chaim. At that time though, I had to take care of something important. I figured I would say l’chaim to the Rebbe and then go to take care of the matter. The sicha ended, the Rebbe nodded and said l’chaim v’livracha to all the Chassidim around me and deliberately seemed to skip me. The Rebbe’s gaze is sharp and clear and you cannot be confused and think that he is saying l’chaim to you when he did not mean you.
Even after the second and third sichos, I noticed that the Rebbe was skipping me. After the third sicha I felt that the Rebbe was looking at me for many seconds but without nodding for l’chaim. I realized that the Rebbe wanted something from me. I thought it might be worth going out first to take care of the matter and then return to the farbrengen, but the likelihood of my being able to take care of what I needed to do and return to 770 and get my spot again was remote. I felt that the Rebbe was hinting to me to go and do what I had to do. I wriggled my way outside and rushed to do what I needed to do and then hurried back to 770.
Miraculously, I managed to squeeze back to my spot while the farbrengen was still going on. After the next sicha I looked up and raised my cup in the Rebbe’s direction. I stood to the far left of the Rebbe. It was simply amazing. The Rebbe turned ninety degrees in my direction and nodded and said l’chaim v’livracha. I couldn’t get over it. I felt that the Rebbe had read my thoughts.
***
There is no doubt that one of the most moving and stirring moments of the month of Tishrei is the shofar blowing. I always made sure to get a place near the bima. I would hear the Rebbe’s crying, his sighs. The feeling was that the Rebbe was giving his life for the Jewish people. After the t’kios, the Rebbe’s face was like a torch. There were years that the t’kios went easier and there were years that they seemed to go with difficulty, but it was always an exalted spiritual experience to see the Rebbe fling his tallis over all the envelopes with pidyonei nefesh and the entire crowd standing in utter silence.
THE CAMERA THAT TURNED THE MEKURAV INTO A CHASSID
By the Rebbe you see open majesty. It is very hard to experience this by watching a video. When you see the Rebbe before you with his every movement and what he says, this is royalty.
When I had yechidus for the first time at the end of Tishrei, before returning to Eretz Yisroel, I thought about the Rebbe’s great Ahavas Yisroel.
As I said, I was new to this and I wrote a long and detailed letter, not as a Chassid ought to write a letter. I asked for brachos for many things. The Rebbe read the entire letter with great seriousness and made marks for himself with a pencil. I remember that I did not know just how to stand in front of a king. My excitement was beyond all limits.
When the Rebbe finished reading the letter, he slowly rose up. I felt that the Rebbe knew that I was emotional and that he did not want to confuse me. The Rebbe looked into my eyes and I felt the endless good that radiated from them. The Rebbe blessed me in everything I asked for and then told me to work in chinuch. I did not think I was suited to this but the Rebbe said so, so it had to be done. My wife and I opened preschools and I have been involved in teaching boys for their bar mitzva.
The feeling I had by the Rebbe at the end of Tishrei was, what a pity that I did not bring my wife or children. Why didn’t I insist on bringing all the mekuravim so they could experience for themselves everything I told them about on my return.
From year to year we improved. I held raffles at the yishuv. One year I brought a group of mekuravim and the trip brought about a big change in them. I won’t forget how one mekurav bought an advanced camera in Manhattan and planned on photographing the Rebbe. We stood on the pyramid in the rear of 770, where they made the balcony years later. He stood in a good spot and planned on taking a picture when the Rebbe walked in but try as he might, the camera did not work. When he moved the camera and tried to take a picture of the entire beis midrash, that worked. He was in utter shock. I explained that the Rebbe did not like being photographed except by the few who had been granted permission.
That person today wears a sirtuk and hat and is a Chassid in every respect, after seeing the Rebbe’s power for himself.
THE BRACHOS AND INSTRUCTIONS WE RECEIVED IN TISHREI
Nine years after we married, we still had no children. I wrote to the Rebbe a few times but received no response. On 26 Tishrei 5739, after a month replete with giluyim, a yechidus was scheduled for my wife and myself. I did not want to ask the Rebbe for a bracha for children since I had already asked a number of times and the Rebbe knew about our situation. If he wanted to, he would speak about it without my writing. But my wife said, “If you don’t write it, I will bring it up to the Rebbe.” I gave in and wrote it.
I wrote up some of the yechidus as soon as we left the Rebbe’s room. The Rebbe began, “Shana tova u’mesuka. May Hashem fulfill your heart’s requests for good and may you merit to relate good news.” Then the Rebbe responded to the request for a bracha for children. “In order for things to be done naturally, it pays to visit a doctor. In addition, perhaps a din or minhag was forgotten and it pays to study the laws of family purity.” The Rebbe then asked that we consult with a practicing rav about what to do about children. As for where to live, the Rebbe said to consult with knowledgeable friends. The Rebbe blessed us to be able to relate good news in everything, gave a Tanya to me and a siddur to my wife with his signature and said it should be a keepsake from the visit.
We left feeling very optimistic. We felt we had received a bracha for children. We spoke to a rav but there were still delays. Another year went by. In Tishrei 5740, before the end of the month, I sat in the small zal upstairs and wrote a letter. I said we had gone to a rav and my wife had been seen by a doctor. I wrote that I wanted to request the Rebbe’s bracha, that he pray for us by the Healer of all flesh, without our having to see a human doctor. As soon as I finished writing the letter, I heard that the Rebbe was leaving 770 for the car that waited for him outside to bring him home. I felt that this was a hint that my request had been accepted. I submitted my letter to the office.
On the letter, the Rebbe wrote, “I will mention it at the gravesite.” I immediately called my wife who was in Eretz Yisroel and told her that we had received an answer and I was sure that this was the year. And so it was. The following Tishrei, 5741, my wife joined me on the trip to the Rebbe. She was at an advanced stage of pregnancy.
At the end of that month we had yechidus together. I wrote down parts of it as soon as I left the Rebbe’s room.
The Rebbe began by saying, “Yehi ratzon that Hashem fulfill the requests of the heart of each one of you for good, with spreading the wellsprings of Torah and Chassidus.” Then the Rebbe said, “Regarding the upcoming birth, it should be in order, in its time and easily, zera chaya v’kayama.”
In that yechidus, my wife mentioned her father who was in the hospital with liver problems. We were not yet aware of the severity of his condition and believed it was a problem with a speedy resolution. When the Rebbe spoke about my father-in-law’s condition, he looked very grave and he said, “An operation on this organ is not an ordinary thing. You need to consult with a doctor-friend and have the consent of two doctors.”
My wife was taken aback by the Rebbe’s great seriousness and she expressed her surprise. The Rebbe repeated everything he said. I did not understand why the Rebbe looked so grave. When we landed at the airport, my wife’s sister came to pick us up and she told my wife how much more serious their father’s situation was than they originally thought and that his life was in immediate danger. He passed away that month and then we understood why the Rebbe reacted as he did.
The following Tishrei, 5742, we went to the Rebbe again, this time with our oldest son Assaf, in order to thank the Rebbe for the gift he gave us. We stood on the path leading to 770 with the baby carriage and the Rebbe drove up and walked toward his room. Our son, who was not feeling well that day, coughed a few times. The Rebbe looked at him and waved with a big smile. It was a moving moment. A few days later we had to hospitalize him because he had bronchitis. We had to spend a lot of money for the hospital bill and did not know how we would pay it. Help came from an unexpected direction. Opposite the house we were staying in lived a woman whom my wife was mekarev very much. When we returned from the hospital, her father, who was well-to-do, came to visit her. He heard our story and paid all the hospital expenses.
Assaf merited many kiruvim from the Rebbe. In the “general yechidus” that we had that year, a group of twenty of us went to Gan Eden HaElyon. I think it was the first time that the Rebbe received groups for yechidus. The Rebbe accepted a letter from each person, blessed us as a group, but each one felt that it pertained to him personally. At the end, the Rebbe said he would give a dollar for bracha and tz’daka and shlichus mitzva. We all stood on a line and one by one, we passed by the Rebbe. When we reached the Rebbe and I was holding Assaf in my left hand, the Rebbe did not want to give me a dollar for him; he wanted the baby to take the dollar himself. The Rebbe waved the dollar over his face and R’ Groner opened the baby’s hand and the Rebbe pushed it between his fingers.
RECIPROCATED LOVE
Tishrei is a very special spiritual experience, an experience that one can never get enough of.
One of the interesting phenomena is that the crowd never tires of seeing the Rebbe and being in his presence. You could see that after a farbrengen which lasted many hours, the Rebbe would go up to his room and from there he would go to the car that took him home. All the people who were at the farbrengen would go outside to escort the Rebbe and to watch the car until it could no longer be seen, as the Rebbe would wave. All those hours were not enough for them and they want another fraction of a second with the Rebbe.
The crowd feels the enormous love that the Rebbe has for them and reciprocates that love. That is the atmosphere that prevails all year but especially in Tishrei. Life revolves entirely around the Rebbe, during the davening, at farbrengens, at the distribution of lekach and kos shel bracha, pidyonei nefesh, and actually at every juncture. You cannot get the experiences from pictures or videos and not even by learning a maamer. You simply have to go, to be there, to experience it and appreciate how intense and lofty it is.