There are shluchim who are always on the move. They switch off between their seasonal shlichus and community life in Eretz Yisroel. How do their families handle the lack of permanence
By N. Shur
The norm is for shluchim to go on shlichus and to return only with the hisgalus of Moshiach. Their place of shlichus is their home and that is where they raise their children and grow old. Shlichus is for a lifetime.
But there is another sort of shlichus which operates only for a portion of the year, during the tourist season, in places like India. Thousands of Israelis and other Jews visit India but there are months of the year when there isn’t a single tourist. The monsoon rains pour, the temperature is high, the humidity is intolerable and the tourists go elsewhere for those months. Nor is there a local Jewish community to serve during those months (see sidebar).
That’s when the shluchim pack up and return to Eretz Yisroel to raise money and to continue working with tourists they met on their shlichus who returned to Eretz Yisroel.
It’s no simple matter. Where is their real home? Where is their furniture and their good clothes, in Eretz Yisroel or in a closet in a forsaken Indian village? What about the children’s toys? When they return to Eretz Yisroel do they take everything with them or leave it all behind or do they have two sets of everything?
It’s hard to live this way, not to mention the emotional cost, for a person by nature seeks stability and an anchor in life. A permanent home. This was the first question we asked of the three couples we spoke to who work under these conditions:
How do you handle the instability of living in two places?
Motti and Libby Gromach are shluchim in Hampi, India and they concede the set-up is difficult:
“Until now, we really have been wandering here and there without any stability, because we did not have an apartment in Eretz Yisroel either. The big problem is finding a furnished apartment to rent for four months. In Eretz Yisroel, the rentals are usually for a year. So we had to stay with our parents during seasons when there are no tourists in Hampi. It is hard being uprooted without a place of our own. Just recently we finally bought an apartment in Nachalat Har Chabad so at least in Eretz Yisroel there is a certain degree of stability.”
Ron and Liat Shamir work in Vattakanal, India where they deal with the same problem:
Liat: “I am a person who needs structure and stability, so I tell myself that this is my stability, half a year here and half a year there. For actually, a person who goes to work every day spends half his time at home and half his time at work, so for me it’s divided between countries …” she says with a smile.
“This is our routine. Our shlichus season is short, so neither place is more permanent than the other. You could say that we feel more stable in Eretz Yisroel because the apartment we return to is just the way we left it, while in India, everything is packed up and we need to unpack when we return and set things up again.”
Yoel and Shterny Caplin also divide the year, with one half spent in Kasol, India and the other half in Chicago:
“I don’t see what the problem is,” says Yoel. “Since we married, we spend half a year in Chicago and half a year on shlichus. It’s normal for us. Tourist season in Kasol is in the summer and in the winter we are in Chicago.”
Can you tell us why you need to live both here and there?
Motti and Libby: “In Hampi, as in many places in India, there is a tourist season. There is no community in Hampi aside from one Jew who lives there with a gentile woman. In the summer the temperature can reach as high as 50 C (122 F). The heat and the monsoons make it impossible to remain there. No normal tourist would be there during this time of year. So we spend four months in Eretz Yisroel and eight months on shlichus.”
Ron and Liat: “Our season is the winter, from Chanuka until after Pesach. In Tishrei it’s bitter cold and in the winter it warms up. Don’t ask questions about the weather in India. It’s the opposite of what we have here. By the end of the winter it’s terribly hot.”
Motti sighs and discusses the huge financial difficulties:
“People in Eretz Yisroel wonder how a shliach can fundraise for an apartment for himself when they themselves haven’t bought an apartment yet, but I am paying rent in my place of shlichus and then I have to pay rent here as well (or a mortgage). So either I pay rent for a year in order to live here for four months (you cannot rent an apartment for only a few months), which is not reasonable, or I buy an apartment. In any case, I am paying a mortgage here and rent there which is paying double for housing. It’s an enormous expense for a shliach who also has to finance the cost of living and the large scale activities there.”
Ron and Liat: “We also have to pay double. In Eretz Yisroel we live in a rented apartment in Natzrat Ilit and we pay for an entire year, even though we live there only half a year. Previously, we would rent a new place each time we came to Eretz Yisroel but we decided to minimize the moving, at least while we are in Eretz Yisroel. So we pay rent all year for an apartment in Eretz Yisroel, for a storage place in India, and for a guest house for half a year in India. Sometimes we bring out another couple for support or to replace us like when a baby is born, and then we pay and pay and pay some more.
“It is painful to hear criticism from Anash who don’t consider us shluchim since we are not there year round. First of all, there is nothing to do there for several months a year; there isn’t a Jewish soul. Second, all the money we have is invested there. Third, even when we are in Eretz Yisroel we are in touch with tourists who spent time with us in India. The Beit Chabad is our life. What can we do when there are no tourists and there is no need to be there? This is the nature of this shlichus.”
Where are most of your belongings?
Ron: “There is no such thing as ‘most.’ Everything is double. In Eretz Yisroel we have everything and in India we have even more because in India you need 300 chairs, not six. Any household item you can think of, we have two because we aren’t going to waste space in our suitcase for an electric teakettle when food and more important items are needed. So we have toys here and there, a crib here and there. Everything. It’s a serious expense for a young couple.”
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It’s not only the temporal living spaces that can make a person nuts; there is also the actual traveling, the packing, the storage, the luggage. It’s all a complicated, difficult project.
“Oy,” says Motti. “Because we live in India in the heart of nature and not in a normal city, nature can destroy all our things. In our absence, snakes and scorpions get in and there are mice, not to mention flooding and mold. This is the reason why we can’t just lock the door and leave for Eretz Yisroel. Every time we leave it’s a big project. We pack everything in boxes, not like when you move to another home but like for a war, so it will all remain intact until we return. The s’farim, for example, which are extremely rare items here, are packed in iron boxes to prevent creatures from chewing on them.
“Despite that, when we return to India, the house is in terrible shape. It takes a lot of hard work with several workers to just be able to sit down. To have a drink of water we need to open all our boxes of kitchen equipment. Because it’s so hard, I always go ahead of my wife and family to get the house ready.”
Libby: “I follow him later with my daughter and that itself is a project. It’s not easy for me to fly alone with my daughter, to buy all the things we need and pack it myself, but it’s definitely better than arriving at a home that looks like it went through a war.
“Every trip, from here to there and from there to here, requires organization and an exact accounting of what we are taking for the next season, which clothing we are taking and which we are leaving behind, because when we return to India we need to take a lot of food with us and we need space in our luggage. Every item is written down and calculated, what we are missing, what we need to buy in Eretz Yisroel, what we have already. It all requires logistical planning and organization.”
Ron and Liat: “With us too, nature destroys everything. The rats ate a lot of our s’farim. We eventually learned to pack and store our things. Just recently I discovered a dehumidifier that can help prevent mildew. Every idea like this helps us improve on the complicated storage process. We also cannot rely on the locals to watch our house because sometimes they break into the storage and steal things. We really have to pray that everything remains the way we left it.”
Yoel: “We try to see to it that in each place we have stability and comfortable conditions. We built a nice Beit Chabad and a mikva and whatever we need in our place of shlichus. But it is true, each time we make the trip with the kids it requires a period of acclimating which takes several weeks.”
What does this instability do to you emotionally? A person, and especially children, needs a permanent place for themselves…
Motty: “When we didn’t have an apartment in Eretz Yisroel, we really felt like we were always in limbo. It was hard in every way. But there is no question that our base and permanent home is in India, in our place of shlichus. When we are in Eretz Yisroel, we miss it and we feel relieved when we arrive in ‘our’ place, our place of shlichus.
“Last summer too, when we already had an apartment in Eretz Yisroel and we felt some stability, we missed our place of shlichus. We instill this feeling in our daughter so she will want to return to India and won’t regard it as a hardship. Every nice toy we see, we buy ‘for India,’ meaning, we will open it when we get there and then she looks forward to going.
“The truth is, our shlichus continues full force even when we are in Eretz Yisroel. We host tourists that we met in India, are in touch with them, and we are constantly focused on our place of shlichus; shlichus is our life.
“Each move from place to place takes two weeks of adjustment, mainly for our daughter. She is still young and we haven’t experienced any significant problem. We assume that when she starts preschool, things will get more complicated, but we try to maintain the attitude that the place we yearn for is shlichus and not the comforts and conveniences of Eretz Yisroel. We hope this trickles down to her too.”
Yoel: “The differences are not that big because on shlichus we are with another couple, the Winderbaums, and so we have a chevra and the children have with whom to play. In Chicago there are only six children in the class, so the move from a social standpoint is not that significant for them. It’s either a teacher in a small preschool in Chicago or a teacher or bachur that we brought to Kasol to teach our children.
“In general, from a social standpoint today, we adults have WhatsApp, so that even if we were on our own, it is not the isolation that shluchim once underwent. Everyone is constantly in touch through technology, thereby erasing the distance between us, boruch Hashem.”
Ron: “In Eretz Yisroel, the adjustment period is easier. The children attend local schools although there isn’t always room due to the constraints of the system, but most of the time we are able to get them into schools. The transition to India is hard on the children and on us too, because it’s a transition from normal civilization to the wilds of nature, between a city in Eretz Yisroel and a place that is functionally a jungle. It is also the transition from the privacy of a home in a community to life in a public place bustling with people on a constant basis. With every transition, the children experience a pause in their development until they adjust.”
What do you do when you are in Eretz Yisroel?
Motti and Libby: “In Eretz Yisroel we work a lot on fundraising so we can continue our work when we return to India. We are also in constant touch with tourists we met in India. We take care of settling mekuravim in yeshivos or seminaries for girls, host them for Shabbos, etc.
Liat: “I found seasonal work in Chabad schools in Natzrat and it works out well for me during the time we are in Eretz Yisroel. Ron goes away to fundraise and then my challenge is to stay alone with the children.
“We also make a point of staying in touch with the tourists and it is very satisfying to get regards from people who were with us in India and began making progress in their Jewish observance. For example, we had a woman at the Chabad House who decided to cover her hair once a week. Now she covers her hair all the time, and her husband has a beard and they had a baby they named Shneur. Then there is the woman from a kibbutz who made a resolution to light Shabbos candles and she called to tell us that she is sticking to her commitment.
“Here in Eretz Yisroel we continue to talk to them. Our shlichus does not end when we touch down at the airport in Lud.”
Yoel: “In Chicago we have the Beis Moshiach community which is small and wonderful. When I’m there, I hold down a job to make money and I fundraise for the shlichus season.”
What advantages are there to a part-time shlichus?
“There are advantages, and not just difficulties,” says Motti. “There are shluchim who, year round, are living on shlichus while simultaneously fundraising. This can affect their activities, for example, by working more with rich people. I work with ‘vagrant’ tourists who are living on their last dime (or shekel), so whenever I’m on shlichus I am focused exclusively on the work. When I arrive in Eretz Yisroel, we continue hosting tourists that we met in India, set them up in yeshivos so they continue making progress, and I have the ‘luxury’ of finding time to fundraise. It happens separately from the actual work of shlichus.
“There is, of course, the family advantage. While we are in Eretz Yisroel we see more of the family. We also get to enjoy and appreciate ready-made bread and hummus, because on shlichus we make everything from scratch. We have four months to rest up from the technical aspects of things which take a lot out of us in time and emotional and physical energy. We have four months to immerse in a normal mikva and not in a river with frogs, and in general, to live among Chassidim which is a pleasure.”
Yoel: “There is a period of time to rest so we don’t become ground down by the work. We return to India refreshed, but it’s not like we planned this. It is just the way this shlichus works with the tourist season. In India, only in central cities is there work year-round, or in places where there is an ancient Jewish community like Cochin. The other Chabad Houses in India are for tourists.”
Ron and Liat spoke about the beautiful side of life in their place of shlichus: “We live in a gorgeous place at the edge of a high mountain. In the morning, the entire valley is full of fog and endless stillness. One Friday night we had such a beautiful sunset that even the locals and we stood there moved to tears at the sight. The wonders of Creation here in India are something special.
“The children have large spaces to roam and they get positive attention from the tourists. It’s fun for us to meet Am Yisroel. In Eretz Yisroel, someone who is able to go on mivtzaim once a week is pleased with himself while we get to do this round the clock. Even if it’s only half a year, it’s very intense with an open house from morning till night. Many shluchim in established communities don’t have the intensity of Chabad Houses for tourists with mivtzaim all day long.”
“I believe,” said Liat fervently, “that we were chosen by the Rebbe for this specific shlichus. We opened to explicit answers from the Rebbe in the Igros Kodesh: Even if he feels that he is living in a forsaken place, he needs to be happy about fulfilling his mission in this world. So fortunate am I that I can do this special shlichus in this world. I have no doubt that this will not harm the children and I thank the Rebbe for choosing us.”
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HAMPI
Arriving in Hampi, a new land presents itself before the visitor’s astonished eyes. Huge, rounded granite slabs are piled up and scattered everywhere. Those rocks are also found seemingly suspended in the air on the banks of the river, threatening to come crashing down across a road one day. A wide river passes through the middle of this natural chaos and it serves as a public bath, personal laundromat, transportation artery with little boats crossing it throughout the day, full of people and motorcycles, and of course this is the main recreation spot. On the banks of the river are swings, and fields of grass, banana, coconut and mango trees wave their leaves like giant fans. The magical, hypnotic atmosphere is a perfect setting for absorbing spirituality and Judaism. R’ Motti and Libby Gromach arrived here in 5770 and within a short time established an impressive Chabad House for tourists.
The Chabad House at Hampi thinks of all the small details an Israeli tourist needs, such as a helmet for riding a motorcycle, information and kosher food, as well as communal Shabbos meals and fascinating spiritual courses.
VATTAKANAL
Vattakanal is a vacation spot near Kodaikanal in southern India. The village is a collection of cottages spread out over a mountainous, green area with beautiful scenery. The tourists come, look for a cottage to rent, and spend a few weeks in utter tranquility. The charm of Vatta is its disconnect from civilization, no Internet, telephone or any means of contact with the outside world. Even running water is a rarity.
R’ Ron and Liat Shamir arrived here in 5767 and worked hard to establish a popular Chabad House. Tourists in Vatta feel at home there. It’s a place to sit, put down their backpacks, schmooze, cook in the kitchen, and bake a cake for friends. The farbrengens until late at night are a byword among the Israeli tourists.
KASOL
A small village with magnificent scenery including the Himalayan Mountains, a place which was hidden, has developed over the years into an attraction for Israeli tourists. R’ Danny and his wife Rivka Hila Winderbaum arrived here in 5764 and opened a Chabad House, offering programming to suit the needs of tourists. Spirited Shabbos meals, a kosher restaurant which supplies thousands of meat meals every month, Torah learning in the morning, evenings open to deep discussions, and a beautiful mikva.
The Chabad House has also taken a lot of responsibility in offering help in emergencies such as locating and rescuing missing persons, helping rescue drug addicts, compiling medical information on relevant medical issues and more. This has been reported on in a film that was broadcast in Europe, and a documentary on French television. The extent of their work has grown over the years, which is why in recent years, Yoel and Shterny Caplin joined them on shlichus. The Chabad House in Kasol is famous among backpackers as a warm, happening place which radiates light, joy and readiness for the Geula.
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At the conclusion of the interviews I thanked the shluchim who opened a window to their private lives and shared their experiences about life lived in two locations on shlichus. We wholeheartedly wished them that we soon merit that all of us see Hashem’s permanent dwelling place in Yerushalayim