THE THREE PREPARATIONS OF OUR PATRIARCH
The confrontation between Jacob and Esau—one of the most poignant confrontations recorded in the Torah – portended all of history’s conflicts between the Jews and other nations. Jacob was unsure what his brother’s reaction to him might be. Would Esau forgive him for appropriating their father’s blessings, or would he continue to carry a grudge and try to kill him, as was his original intention?
Gripped with this uncertainty, what did Jacob do?
Rashi, based on a cursory survey of the text, informs us that “Jacob prepared himself for three things: a gift, prayer and war.” Rashi cites the verse (32:22): “the gift passed on ahead of him” as proof that Jacob sent Esau a gift. He then cites an earlier verse (32:10): “O G-d of my father Abraham…” which contains Jacob’s prayer and a still earlier verse (32:9): “…so the remaining camp will survive,” to indicate his preparedness for battle.
THE ORDER OF THINGS
A question has been raised: why does Rashi cite these three preparations in reverse? First he mentions the gift, then prayer and then war, when the Torah mentions them in the opposite order?
One explanation for this discrepancy, given by a contemporary work (Avir Yosef), is that the Torah presents these three preparations in the order that they occurred to Jacob: First he prepared himself for battle by dividing his camp into two sections, and then he entreated G-d in prayer. His final step was to send an elaborate gift to his brother.
Rashi, by contrast, presents these three efforts in the order of their execution. First, Jacob would attempt to assuage Esau’s anger by sending him an elaborate gift. If Esau would not accept the gift and continued to approach Jacob’s camp, he would pray to G-d that Esau would not attack. If that didn’t work he was then prepared to wage war.
This does not answer the question of why these steps did not occur to Jacob in the order that he would execute them, i.e. gift first, prayer next and then preparation for battle.
Another point: One might have imagined that Jacob would pray first, before taking the other two courses of action. Why then did he consider fighting before prayer?
Jacob’s three modes of preparation can guide us in our own lives. On the most basic level, they instruct us how to deal with a putative enemy. We must be prepared to mollify him by a gesture such as a gift, but always remember that our lives depend on G-d. As a last resort, we must be prepared to defend ourselves.
But, the Torah is relevant to all situations and must convey a spiritual message to us even when we are not physically confronting a mortal enemy. What spiritual message is contained in Jacob’s three modes of preparation and the order in which they were conceived and executed?
CONFRONTING THE MAN OF THE FIELD
Torah describes Esau as “a man of the field.” He was the perennial outsider. When a Jew must leave a secure and holy environment and relate to “outsider” people and worldly situations, he must prepare himself for three things:
At the outset, he must not view the outside world as an adversary, even if it is. To approach the outside world with a negative mindset is unhealthy and counterproductive. We must approach the outside world with confidence and trust in G-d that, with the proper attitude, we will be able to change the world and bring the outsiders inside. Towards this end, the first step in our confrontation with the people of the field is to send them a “gift.”
Although a gift, by definition, is unsolicited, the Talmud (See Megilla 26b) nevertheless states: “If he had not done something pleasing to the giver, he would not have given him a gift.” In other words, a gift is an expression of the fact that we can see and recognize the positive in the recipient; that the recipient has something to offer and has offered it in the past. By recognizing the good in the “other who is situated outside in the field,” it helps actualize whatever positive qualities may lie dormant within him.
After one expresses confidence in the other, one must resort to prayer. The reason it follows “sending of the gift” is that prayer has a particular limitation. It cannot change a person who has free will because G-d does not interfere with our free choice. It is only after we soften the person’s mindset and awaken his hidden goodness that we can pray to assist that individual to maximize his potential. Prayer can help remove the obstacles to this actualizing process.
Moreover, prayer, although it is not a confrontational exercise, demonstrates that we are not entirely confident with the outcome; we perceive the “outside” as a moral threat. Prayer is usually reserved for situations in which we see ourselves as helpless. That is not how we must begin. Our first step must be to psyche ourselves into having a totally positive and optimistic demeanor even before we pray.
After we develop a positive attitude about our prospects for success, we must prepare ourselves to combat the outside’s insidious influences. While we remain optimistic, we should also be realistic about the negative forces in the world.
One develops the correct mindset by focusing first on the positive. That is precisely what Jacob did. Even before he set into motion his three pronged approach, he conditioned his thoughts to have a positive outlook on his meeting with Esau. Once he acquired the appropriate mindset he could then focus on the practical necessities of praying and preparing for battle.
The same is true with our own dealings with “the man of the field.” Once we develop the proper positive approach by sending “gifts,” we can proceed to the execution phase of our relationship with the outside. We can’t take any chances with the hostile influences of the outside world and we must be equipped with the necessary resources to fight the negative forces.
GALUS EDOM
Our Sages classify the exile which began with the destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans as Galus Edom. In other words, it is the exile associated with Esau and his physical and spiritual heirs.
While Esau has been our mortal enemy for close to two millennia, the Messianic Age will bring about a full rapprochement with him. All nations will unite in their devotion to one G-d and live in peace with the people of Israel. They will support our claim to the Land of Israel and our construction of the Third Bais HaMikdash on the Temple Mount without reservation.
However, as long as we are still in exile, albeit on the very threshold of Redemption, we must prepare ourselves for that period during which all the evil of the world will be transformed into holiness.
And just as Jacob did before his reunion with Esau, we must develop two different systems in these last days of exile, which differ in terms of the proper order of our efforts to confront the Esau forces of Galus: a practical approach towards Galus and a theoretical approach to guide us in how we are to think about Galus.
LIBERATION, NOT REPUDIATION
In the practical world, we have to remain vigilant and ready to combat the threats to our Jewishness. We cannot allow the temptations and compromises of Galus to gain mastery over us. This is a continuing struggle and we cannot go into it with our eyes closed. But, even as we prepare to do battle with the forces of Galus, we must base that preparedness on the confidence that we will be victorious. Our confidence is rooted in our understanding that, at its source, Galus paradoxically possesses an extremely lofty spiritual energy. Galus has challenged us deeply and elicited the most potent forces from us. Our recognition of that positive dimension is our gift to Galus. And while we prepare to fight the unredeemable aspects of exile we must develop a positive and uplifting mindset, which sees the Redemption not as repudiation of exile but rather the liberation of its positive elements.
G-D REGRETS GALUS
The process described above helps us reconcile the contradictory statements we find concerning Galus. In some sources (Talmud, Sukka 52b) we find that G-d regrets having created Galus, whereas in other sources (See Seifer HaSichos 5751 p. 494) we are taught that Galus possesses tremendous spiritual energy. Galus is likened to a dream which combines opposites, suggesting that it possesses a powerful aspect of holiness that can combine opposites (See Likkutei Sichos, Vol. 15 p. 346).
What does it mean when the Talmud says that G-d regrets Galus? G-d obviously wouldn’t have created it if He thought it wasn’t going to be good or useful. G-d, obviously, never does anything He would regret. One answer is that G-d wants us to emulate Him by adopting a sense of utter revulsion for Galus and pray incessantly for it to end. The last thing we should do is to feel comfortable with Galus.
On the other hand, the negative attitude toward Galus itself that we must adopt for practical purposes does not mean we should adopt a negative mentality in our last moments of Galus. We have to acknowledge the latent good in Galus that we will soon set free. We must rejoice that we will be leaving all the negative aspects of Galus behind, imminently, with the coming of Moshiach! Even as we are ready to battle the inherently evil aspects of Galus, we experience an unshakeable trust in G-d, confidence in His mercy and a transcendent, joyous optimism.