Avrohom Avinu opened his tent to all passersby and through hosting people he spread belief in G-d to the world. * In our generation too, there are people who open their homes to all passersby, not just to spread Judaism and Chassidus, but to fulfill the mitzva of hachnasas orchim with their bodies, souls, and money, since hosting people is greater than welcoming the Sh’china. They are also mekarev many people to Judaism.
R’ Reuven Dunin with mekuravim
THE HOUSE THAT WAS ALWAYS OPEN
The first branch of Tzach in Eretz Yisroel was located on Rechov Borochov 3 in Haifa. It was founded by a heavy machine operator, a laborer who toiled literally and in Torah, R’ Reuven Dunin a”h, and his wife Rivka a”h. People went to this house nearly all hours of the day for shiurim, farbrengens, Shabbos meals, or just to sleep because they got stuck along the way.
R’ Reuven not only spread Judaism and Chassidus aplenty, but first and foremost his home was open like that of Avrohom Avinu. In this house there was always enough food for all. To R’ Reuven and his wife there was no differentiating between concern for the family and concern for guests. The guests received food and drink from these generous, openhearted people and it was all done in a pleasant atmosphere.
“When I went to that house,” said one of the thousands who visited the Dunin home, “sometimes Reuven would say to me, ‘Listen, I am very tired and going to sleep. Open the fridge and help yourself.’ The atmosphere was such that you could enter the house and treat it as your own. Sometimes I would arrive early, sit in the living room and look into books as I waited for Reuven’s shiur, and nobody was bothered by this.”
At Shabbos and Yom Tov meals they sometimes had several dozen guests and the couple took care of them all. Reuven did not take a portion for himself before making sure everyone had gotten. He especially looked out for the skinny ones.
Reuven once saw someone eating a lot of one of the dishes and he offered him something else. When the person said he did not like that, Reuven laughed and said that was a good reason to eat it.
Constant hosting on this scale requires a lot of money which the Dunins did not have. But despite their financial situation, R’ Reuven always welcomed guests with open arms. Large quantities of food were purchased weekly with Reuven not asking for money from any of his guests.
Mrs. M. Plishon who lives on Rechov Borochov had this to say:
“Reuven and Rivka’s home was the center of the whole block. We all regarded them and what went on in their home with great respect. I won’t forget the gatherings, the many guests who went to their sukka and their singing on Shabbos which became part of life on this street. They were people who did not try to force their way of life on others but were just mekarev people and hosted them graciously.”
The Dunin family on Rechov Borochov 3 did not know what a lock is. Guests could always walk in. A guest never felt that his presence was disturbing anyone. You could arrive there even at two in the morning and be warmly welcomed by Reuven and his wife.
This takes on greater significance when you know that this generous hosting took place in a small apartment which consisted of a tiny living room and two bedrooms. It was only upon the birth of their seventh child that they received the Rebbe’s consent to expand their apartment; even then, it wasn’t that significant.
One night, R’ Shlomo Raskin and his wife were stuck in Haifa after missing the last bus to Tzfas. R’ Shlomo suggested to his wife that they go to the Dunin home which was always open, but she refused and said they had not asked ahead of time and it wasn’t right to show up unannounced. Yet there was no other choice and so, at midnight, the couple showed up. Mrs. Dunin warmly welcomed them as though she was sitting and waiting for them. She showed them their room and said, “This is the guest room for couples.” It was only in the morning that they found out that it was the only room in the house and all the children slept in the living room.
THE MAN OF THE HOUSE WHO SLEPT NEAR THE DOORWAY
The extent of hospitality in this house went way beyond normal standards. The doors were always open and anybody could simply walk in at any time. Even if it was a moment before Shabbos and five more people called to ask to be hosted, it was okay for the lady of the house. “It’s fine. We will push another two mattresses into that corner and another two beds in this corner.” As for food, “Not a problem. We will add another two cups to the soup.”
The lady of the house often found her husband sleeping in the doorway on an improvised bed after looking after his many guests and after every possible place to lie down had been used. He sometimes did this so that truly unwanted guests would not come to visit in the dark of night …
It sometimes happened that entire classes came to be hosted for Shabbos and once again, the house stretched and contained them all.
People felt at home and nobody felt that the place was too crowded for them. The truth is, this problem did not exist; it was a house that seemed to have unlimited space. In any case, people got the feeling that the homeowners had unlimited time and place for them.
People came who remained to sleep and there were those who came and left on the same day. There were those who had deliveries waiting for them in Haifa port and they went to Haifa in order to release them from the customs authorities. Sometimes it took several days to arrange this and they would sleep at the Dunins. Reuven would tell them all, “I want you to come to my house whenever you want. If it works out for you, let us know ahead of time.”
And that wasn’t always done. Some people, who never had a connection with Reuven or Chabad and did not know his phone number, somehow obtained his address and appeared without prior notice. It often happened that someone who came to the house for a talk or a visit, felt tired and stayed to sleep without prior notice.
The house was once full with a lot of people. At a certain point, Reuven stood outside and when a new guest showed up, who asked him whether he knows where the Dunins live, he said with a smile, “The truth is that I’m also looking for them.”
R’ Reuven personally did a lot for the guests and he also served the food. He did everything to make life easier for his wife. Sometimes Reuven would ask a guest, “Do you feel at home here?” When the guest said yes, Reuven sent him to the kitchen to wash dishes.
THE OPEN HOUSE IN MEA SH’ARIM
Another home which was always open to guests was the home of R’ Moshe Weber a”h and his wife Miriam. Unlike R’ Reuven Dunin, R’ Moshe Weber came from an old, Yerushalmi home. He was from the spiritual elite of Yerushalayim. The style was different, but in Haifa and in Mea Sh’arim the house was open to all passersby, no exceptions made.
R’ Moshe and his wife’s hospitality was unique. There are many homes, Boruch Hashem, where people are hospitable, but to find a house which hums with guests 24/7 is not so common. That was the Weber home.
They did not have a single moment of privacy. Guests of all kinds and from all over Eretz Yisroel and the world were drawn to their home. In the morning they would knock at the door and put in their orders for what they wanted for lunch. Each one has his request and it was a “given” that the rav and rebbetzin would fill their demands.
In their modest, two room home, innumerable people were warmed by their holiness and Ahavas Yisroel. Their home was also open to the unfortunates who looked for a place to eat, including those who were not welcome anywhere else. One of his mekuravim remembers that over the years, every Friday night meal there was an individual at the table whose appearance alone was enough to arouse terror.
R’ Ido Weber relates:
“I remember that one day, the rebbetzin sat down late in the day to eat the afternoon meal. It was after an exhausting day full of serving food to guests who visited the house. Her exhaustion was apparent on her face when she finally sat down at that late hour. As she was about to put a spoonful of soup in her mouth, the door opened (for the most part, people did not even knock but just walked in, as though it was their house). This guest immediately asked to be served lunch.
“That day, many guests had already visited and aside from the portion that the rebbetzin was about to eat, no hot food remained. The rebbetzin got up and took her hot bowl of soup that she was about to eat to the kitchen. She poured the soup into another bowl so the guest would not realize it was the soup she had been about to eat, and served it to him graciously.
“It hurt me to see this and I asked her, ‘Rebbetzin, what’s with you? You are also a human being. You also deserve to eat!’ She smiled and said, ‘Boruch Hashem I have bread and cheese in the house; don’t worry, I won’t starve.’”
Another typical story:
One cold winter day over thirty years ago, there was a knock at the door. The rebbetzin opened the door and saw a young man, about twenty, who looked overwrought. When she invited him in, he did not react. In the meantime, her husband, who until then had been immersed in his Gemara, went over and drew the man inside. He offered him a chair and asked him whether he wanted to drink something. The young man nodded and the rav served a cup of tea.
After the man drank the cup, he finally began speaking. He said, “I became a baal t’shuva a few weeks ago. Now I want to enter a yeshiva for baalei t’shuva but I don’t know where to go. Someone told me that you help baalei t’shuva find their way and that is why I came here.”
R’ Weber warmly took his hand and hugged him. “I will be glad to help you,” he said, “but first, come and eat lunch with us.”
At the end of the meal, R’ Weber took him to a yeshiva for baalei t’shuva in the Geula neighborhood of Yerushalayim. This was at a time when he was supposed to give his daily shiur. Although under normal circumstances he was particular not to cancel a shiur, this time, in order to help the young man, he went with him. At first, the yeshiva refused to accept him due to lack of space, but the young man cried bitterly and said he wanted to learn Torah.
In the end, the rav managed to convince the rosh yeshiva to find a place for him and accept him. When R’ Weber went home, the phone rang. On the line was the young man’s uncle. He accused the rav of tearing his nephew away from his family and friends.
R’ Weber calmed him down and explained that not only wasn’t he disconnecting from his family, on the contrary, thanks to Torah study, he would learn how to honor his parents and the rest of the family.
The uncle was finally convinced and thanked R’ Weber for taking care of his nephew. Today, that young man is a rosh yeshiva in one of the prestigious yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel while the uncle also served as a “rosh,” not a rosh yeshiva but (l’havdil) a “rosh memshala” (prime minister).
CLIMBING 21 FLIGHTS FOR GUESTS
At the Ohel Yaakov Shul in Milan it was a typical sight to see many guests at Kabbalas Shabbos – family, relatives, businessmen, and rabbanim. These guests had places to eat the Shabbos meals but the poor, handicapped, and fundraisers and all those who had not arranged a place to stay for Shabbos sat there in shul with no place to go.
R’ Sholom Ber Friedman was the man who took care of them. After the congregants left with their guests, he remained to make sure that every person had a place to eat on Shabbos or Yom Tov.
His wife Gittel prepared every Friday, not knowing how many guests her husband would bring home.
In order to describe R’ Sholom Ber’s devotion to the mitzva of hospitality, the following story will be illustrative:
One Friday night, someone gladly accepted his invitation to be his Shabbos guest but apologized, saying that since the hotel he was staying in was far from R’ Sholom Ber’s house, he had to eat quickly and get back to his hotel.
R’ Sholom Ber lived on the seventh floor. After a meal, he would escort his guests to the door of his building. What do you do when you have four guests and one of them finishes eating before the others?
You escort the first guest to the entrance and climb seven flights again, continue eating with the rest of your guests and then accompany them to the entrance of the building, then climb seven flights again – a total of 21 floors.
There were times that guests did not know the way back to their hotels. In that case, in addition to seven flights, R’ Sholom Ber would also walk them to their hotel.
SPENDING SHABBOS IN KFAR CHABAD
One of the special and very successful projects that helped to be mekarev people was the “Shabbasos I’ru’ach” in Kfar Chabad. Many guests would visit Kfar Chabad, singles and families with children. They would spend Shabbos in the homes of residents where they first saw what an authentic Jewish/Chassidic Shabbos is all about.
Back in the day, R’ Itzke Gansbourg said:
Reaching out to the kibbutzim generated, as expected, a tremendous interest in the way of life of Chassidim who do everything the Rebbe wants of them. They were especially amazed by the fact that, as per the Rebbe’s instruction, his Chassidim settled in an abandoned Arab village and turned into agricultural Chassidim. They greatly desired visiting the Kfar to see it all with their own eyes.
That is how the visits to Kfar Chabad began. It started with small groups that contacted the branch of Tzach in Kfar Chabad and asked for a Shabbos in the village. The residents of the Kfar devoted themselves to their guests in the most outstanding way and acquired a reputation of first rate hosts. Requests for invitations came in from all over the country, and within a short time, about a hundred people were visiting every Shabbos.
At the Tzach branch, they worked to organize the operation and to set up dates, because due to the great numbers of requests, they could not all be accommodated at once. Then they set up the guests with suitable families and arranged a program.
On Friday, when dozens of guests would arrive, every guest would be shown to his host family and would receive a program flyer which included a listing of activities for that Shabbos. The activities generally included lectures, singing and learning Chabad songs, organized participation in prayers, guided tours of the Kfar and its institutions, and a Melaveh Malka on Motzaei Shabbos. Of course, in addition to the organized program the guests absorbed plenty of Jewish life in their hosts’ homes.
There were experiences that are etched in my memory, like the Friday when we found out that a group of over twenty youth from one of the kibbutzim had arrived and due to a lack of coordination nobody had planned for their arrival. It was two hours before Shabbos and we couldn’t send them back to the kibbutz. I told my wife that we were going to host sixteen girls from the group and I managed to find a place for the ten boys.
My wife did not know how we would have room for them all in our small home, but “when there is room in your heart, there is room in your home,” and after we removed all the furniture from the living room and spread out all the blankets we owned on the floor, we managed to make room for sixteen girls.
While my wife worked on arranging sleeping space, I rushed to the little grocery store in Kfar Chabad and emptied it out. In those days, there wasn’t an abundance of canned products and nearly all the cans I took were of fish. I also took the little bit of vegetables he had left and brought it all home.
By Shabbos all the food was ready and we ate the Shabbos meal in the little kitchen. On the table were the vegetables and cans of fish.
After this special Shabbos, the guests thanked us and said they had never believed guests could be welcomed so joyously even when they showed up two hours before Shabbos without prior notice. I had been nervous that the minimal material standard would ruin the Shabbos, but when they came to thank us, all my fears melted away. It was specifically the special circumstances that made the Shabbos in Kfar Chabad special to them and caused them to be especially impressed by the hospitality of the residents of the Kfar.
IMPACT OF VISITORS
The encounter with the Chassidic way of life of the people in the Kfar made a tremendous impression on the visitors. They, who had always heard about religious people, were surprised to discover Chassidic life and Torah study and mitzva observance combined with manual labor. They were also astounded to hear that many residents of the Kfar taught in schools of the Education Ministry and had certifications and degrees in higher education. They were amazed to see little children, three and four year olds, who knew how to read and sat at the Shabbos table and told about the parsha.
I remember that one time, the daughter of Yigal Mossinson, who was renowned as the author of a series of children’s books called Chasamba, was hosted by R’ Dovid Bravman. She became friendly with one of his daughters. They spoke a lot about Jewish awareness and the young Mossinson had many questions. R’ Dovid’s daughter could not answer all her questions, but she said every question has an answer.
Mossinson was impressed by her confidence and after spending a number of Shabbasos in Kfar Chabad, she sent an emotional letter to the Bravman family. She expressed her thanks for their fabulous hosting and emphasized her amazement of her friend’s confidence in the rightness of her way. She stressed that from where she came from, each person thought he understood everything and if there was something he did not understand, that proved that the thing was wrong. In Kfar Chabad she met for the first time people who were aware of the limitations of their knowledge and intelligence, and were not ashamed to say that the truth is the truth even if their puny intelligence could not understand it.
In one of the issues of Kerem Chabad, there was a letter written by visitors who expressed gratitude for the terrific hosting. This letter, which follows, is one of hundreds, maybe thousands, of thank you letters:
To Kfar Chabad, Shalom Rav!
Albeit late, we thank you for the Shabbos that we spent in your Kfar and for everything you did for us. We returned home full of impressions and stories about the holy Shabbos which we experienced with you, about mitzvos and minhagim that are distant from us and that we do not observe.
This week, on Friday and Shabbos, we reminisced about what we did during those hours with you, about what we heard, what we saw, and what we were shown and the like.
We must confess that when we were with you, we felt what Shabbos is. Unlike what we have here, even though we rest and draw strength for the upcoming week, holiness like we felt with you, a Jewish, warm atmosphere – this we do not feel here even though this is our home.
Once again we thank the speakers who explained to us the teachings of Chassidus and its values, the hosts – as it was they and the pleasant welcome we received that we enjoyed the most… for hosting us in their home, the Melaveh Malka, Agudas Chassidei Chabad and the entire Kfar.
GREATER THAN RECEIVING THE SH’CHINA
Along with this article about hospitality, it is fitting to note, even to a small extent, the hospitality of the Rebbe and Rebbetzin. Although not many visited the house on President Street, for obvious reasons, when women went to visit the rebbetzin, she welcomed them warmly.
The following story from before the Rebbe accepted the Chabad leadership, shows the Rebbe’s sensitivity toward guests:
With the arrival of Rebbetzin Chana Schneersohn a”h, mother of the Rebbe, in the United States in 1947, many of Anash went to greet her. For various reasons, R’ Moshe Pinchas Katz and his brother-in-law R’ Mordechai Mentlick were not able to be among those who welcomed her. Afterward, they asked to see her in her home.
When she first arrived, the rebbetzin lived in her son’s home. When the two men came at the appointed time, the Rebbe opened the door and brought them in. He served them fruit and cake that were on the table as he said, “In honor of the host, make a bracha.”
When the Rebbe saw that they were hesitant about taking anything, he said he wanted to tell them a story that he witnessed. This is what the Rebbe related:
When my father-in-law moved the yeshiva from Warsaw the capital to Otvotzk, one of the Polish tzaddikim there went to visit my father-in-law. Before he left, he asked my father-in-law to return the visit. My father-in-law agreed and said he would do so soon.
After some time, I reminded my father-in-law of what he said and suggested that perhaps now was the right to time to return the visit. My father-in-law agreed.
We arrived at the beis midrash before Shacharis. The tzaddik sat at the head of the table with his gabbai at his side. Around the table stood Chassidim who drank coffee with milk [Polish tzaddikim would drink coffee with milk as a substitute for immersing in the mikva – the numerical equivalent of chalav-milk is forty, corresponding to the amount of water in the mikva].
When he saw my father-in-law, the tzaddik wanted us to sit next to him. He told his gabbai to serve us fruit. The gabbai came back a few minutes later with fruit wrapped in his coat and he placed them on the edge of the table and rolled them to where the Rebbe sat. The fruit rolled and mixed with peels and other remains of fruits and other food that had been served previously. When they reached the tzaddik, he caught them, took one of them and banged it forcefully with his hand until it split in two. He served it to the Rebbe saying, “In honor of the host, make a bracha.”
I wondered how my father-in-law would respond. I knew he was fastidious and here everything had rolled on the table. Yet, if he did not eat, he could be offending the host.
As I waited to see how he would behave, I heard my father-in-law state that he wanted to say a D’var Torah. This is what he said: “It is well known that hospitality is greater than welcoming the Sh’china. What is meant by greater?
“When a Jew goes to the Beis HaMikdash he has to bring a re’iyah offering. The reason is that since going to the Mikdash is such an elevated thing, this needs to be expressed and manifested in something physical. We see from this that hospitality is more important than welcoming the Sh’china to the extent that there is no need to manifest this in something physical.”
With that, my father-in-law finished what he had to say and excused himself from eating what he had been served.