It was late at night and the house was silent. Only in 17 year old Adi’s room was something going on. Adi took a small bag and began packing it with basic necessities: a few items of clothing, a small album of family pictures as a memento, a beloved piece of jewelry. She scanned the closet again. Was there anything else that was important? That was all.
She left her room quietly so as not to wake anyone up and was swallowed by the darkness of night as she walked by the light of a weak moon.
Now I can do as I please and nobody will dictate to me whom I should marry. If they want me back, they will have to work very hard, she thought, as she ignored the storm of emotion within her.
Adi’s mother discovered her empty bed in the morning and was terribly worried. Where was Adi? She hoped that Adi had spent the night with friends and would return during the day, but the hours passed and she did not turn up. Yael had almost called the police when she discovered a note written in a familiar handwriting.
“Don’t look for me. I went to a place where I can live as I please. I chose to cut off ties, as difficult as this is, in order to marry the one I want, the one I love. Adi.”
Yael was stunned. She had not imagined that Adi would take such a drastic step. Now what?
It all began when Adi announced that she wanted to marry a non-Jew. Yael was not religious, but this was a red line for her. There was no way her daughter could marry a non-Jew. She would do all she could to prevent that from happening.
Yael tried talking her out of it, she screamed, she threatened, but nothing helped. It even backfired. Adi was angry and the nice relationship they used to have disappeared.
“At least see a psychologist. Maybe he can help you,” pleaded her mother.
Adi wasn’t interested, but having no choice, she went. The psychologist heard her out and said, “This girl is in distress and needs to go to a place for girls in distress, a place with a dormitory where they will treat her and help her.”
Adi left in a fury. “I’m a normal girl and have no problems and I’m not going to a place like that!”
When she saw that nobody was listening to her, she decided to run away from home so she could do as she wanted.
Yael was frustrated and she called her sister Smadar. Maybe she could help.
Smadar ran a sports and cultural club. She had an idea. “I will call a Chabad Chassid, R’ Michoel Gotzel, and ask him for help. He has worked with us in the past when new immigrants came to our club. Maybe he will be able to refer me to someone who deals with situations like this.”
She called R’ Michoel that same day. He listened to what she had to say and then began telling her about the Rebbe. He told her that today too, the Rebbe is with us and doing miracles through the Igros Kodesh. He went on to tell her some recent miracle stories.
Smadar felt she was in good hands.
“I will write to the Rebbe,” said R’ Michoel. “In the meantime, try and find where the girl is so we can do whatever the Rebbe tells us to do.”
R’ Michoel wrote to the Rebbe and then opened the Igros Kodesh, at random, to volume 22, pages 226-227. There were two letters. In the first one, the Rebbe spoke about peace:
“… Yehi ratzon that the explanation of our Sages be fulfilled on the verse, ‘how good and how pleasant it is when brothers sit together…’ In addition to the simple meaning, the feeling of closeness in a way of sitting, from the root meaning settled, together, to the point of absolute unity.”
The answer was clear. They had to speak to Adi pleasantly and peacefully and not with threats and shouting as her parents had done until then.
In the second letter, the Rebbe wrote about mental health, to check that the psychologist they went to was not leading her on a dangerous path. The Rebbe added that there are psychologists who announced that belief in G-d is one of the most effective approaches to healing.
The Rebbe also wrote, “Indirect influence has a much higher chance for success than direct influence.” He concludes, “With blessings for good news in all the above.”
R’ Michoel told Smadar what the Rebbe wrote. “Tell your sister to welcome her daughter graciously and treat her lovingly and not with threats and shouting. Also, ask them not to mention the subject of the wedding at all. The Rebbe says she needs to be influenced indirectly, not directly.”
“It’s hard for me to believe that they will accept this,” said Smadar, but R’ Michoel responded, “Tell them that this is what the Rebbe said to do and they will surely go along with it.”
A few days later, the phone rang in R’ Michoel’s house. “You won’t believe it,” said an excited voice. “My sister agreed to do what the Rebbe said and just one day later, Adi came back on her own, without the police and without having to search for her. Her parents welcomed her as the Rebbe said to do. It’s a double miracle! Now we await the next miracle that she will drop this non-Jewish guy.”
A few days went by and nothing happened. Adi still wanted to marry the non-Jew and Smadar called R’ Michoel again for help.
“The Rebbe said to do things indirectly and to strengthen belief in Hashem. So I will invite Adi to spend Shabbos with us. If she agrees to come, that will certainly help.”
Smadar agreed and conveyed the message to her sister. Adi spent the next Shabbos with R’ Michoel’s family. It was a beautiful Shabbos. R’ Michoel and his wife spoke about many things, but not about the burning issue, as the Rebbe said. And it really wasn’t necessary. She loved the stories about the Rebbe and one could see it was having a tremendous influence on her.
A few weeks went by and there was good news. Adi had dropped the non-Jewish boyfriend and life was pleasant at home with her family. As the Rebbe had written, “with blessings for good news in all the above.”
They wrote to the Rebbe to report the good news.