“MyLife: Chassidus Applied” with Rabbi Simon Jacobson
This one goes out to all the single and dating people out there, and to the married people too.
There is one thing that love is not, and that’s judgement. Growing up in the Western world, we’re given the message that we’re only worthy of love if we meet certain criteria. Conversely, the culture at large teaches us that we can only love someone or something that meets our expectations. Our children fail and we treat them like losers, our spouses don’t measure up so we look elsewhere. Our parents were the harbingers of our psychological problems, and our friends don’t show up the way we want them to. If only people were better — if only they would measure up — it would be so much easier to love.
Um, No
Love is experienced through being be able to hold simultaneous truths. The infinite wisdom of the intelligence of the universe created us as imperfect creatures with plenty of work to do on ourselves. Love, as an entity, is not dependent on perfection. If it were dependent on perfection, it would mean that only a perfect power way above reality is deserving of love, since every single human is created with problems to work out over time. Love is holding space for imperfections.
You Are Worthy of Love, and So is Everybody Else
Love is your birthright. It’s your birthright to receive it, and it’s your birthright to give it to other people. You can stop telling yourself that you’re only worthy of love if you are perfect and if you please other people. You, and everybody else, is worthy of love by virtue of the fact that you exist. Birth is G-d saying that you matter. Love is not a competition. It’s not an elimination battle. It’s something that we are born to receive and born to give, regardless of levels of perfection. ■