A marvelous description of Pesach and the days preceding it, from the diary of Rabbi Tuvia Zilberstrom, rav of the Chabad shul in Shikkun Chabad in Yerushalayim.
SEEING THE REBBE EVERY DAY
BS”D. Motzaei Shabbos Kodesh VaYikra, 5734.
To my dear parents and the entire family,
It is already more than three days that I am here “in the courtyards of the House of Hashem,” and literally cannot find the time [to write], and more accurately don’t know with what to begin.
We arrived in New York at 9:40 p.m. Israeli time, and passed through customs without a hitch. Interestingly, they did not even ask to open any of the suitcases, and they let everything through right away. Outside, we met all of the chevra who came to greet us, together with Rabbi Mentlick, the Rosh Yeshiva. [When we arrived at 770] it was already 6:15 pm local time, the exact time when the Rebbe is set to leave his room to go home.
We stood in a row near the door of Gan Eden HaTachton in tense anticipation. It was possible to hear the heart pounding of the fellows from the great emotional excitement, because in a few seconds we would get to make the blessing of SheHechiyanu, over what we have yearned for these many years. In an instant, silence fell and the door opened; the Rebbe exited, placed his right hand on the mezuza and turned towards the door with hurried steps, as with a quick glance he took in with one scan the new faces that arrived. A wide smile appeared on his holy face and he stepped outside.
The heart felt, the eyes saw, and the mind begins to think of what just transpired here, still not having processed the great privilege of seeing the esteemed leader, the leader of the entire Jewish nation. And it appears that with all of the aspects of leadership etc., his main concern is with the T’mimim, the students of the yeshiva, and mainly to produce students who are lights to illuminate, in order to illuminate the night darkness of a world that is in darkness.
Afterward, each one went to get himself settled, and they all returned again for Maariv together with the Rebbe shlita. Each additional glance added another infusion of energy, especially when you contemplate even a little about how all of America etc., is of no significance etc.
The next day, the Rebbe came for the Torah reading at the usual time, and was called up for Shlishi. After the Kaddish, he stood off to the right side, and each of the arriving travelers went up one after the other to recite the HaGomel blessing. The heart becomes very excited when standing about half a meter (a foot and a half) from the Rebbe, and especially when he looks at each one with a piercing look. The chevra told me that when I made the blessing, he looked at me noticeably more so, and I also saw how he looked at one of the fellows and checked him out from top to bottom.
That day, he went to the Ohel at 3:15 p.m., so Mincha was held in the evening. When he returned wearing his coat, after standing for five hours straight at the Ohel, wearing rubber soled shoes and holding a package of notes, he went to wash his hands and put on his regular shoes and his regular kapote after switching from his silk garment (sirtuk). Then he came in for Mincha. After a quick glance at the clock, Mincha began.
At night, again Maariv with the Rebbe, and so we begin to adapt to a new order, meaning to go out of the normal habits; and each time, each additional look, is something new, and you feel that you are connecting to something eternal that will never become cut off. Obviously, this Shabbos was the first time having such a feeling and experience, when the Rebbe walked in to the shul for Kabbalas Shabbos and then the entire davening, and how he answers “Gut Shabbos” to all at the end. The same again for the morning, and especially the Haftarah when I succeeded in standing about half a meter away and facing the Rebbe, and I heard every word of the Haftarah. While it is happening, it felt like we are actually living in the time period of the prophets etc. After the Haftarah, when the Rebbe returned to his place and then turned toward the Torah until it was returned to the Aron Kodesh, our eyes met today and the Rebbe looked right at me for about twenty seconds. These were seconds of …… not possible to describe in writing.
After the davening, we hoped for a farbrengen but did not have the privilege. When I returned for Mincha, I again encountered the Rebbe as we entered 770. It is interesting to see how the Rebbe walks to 770. So for now, “Ah Gut Voch” and we should hear from each other.
[The next entry was added to the same letter]: Boruch Hashem, regarding everything that I hoped for and prepared for, I have found here greater good, doubled and redoubled, and together with that seeing the Rebbe healthy every day, there is nothing higher than that. His power continues to spread further every day. Just last week, for the first time in history, the Rebbe was visited by the leader who symbolizes the continuation of the chain of the Gra z”l, Rav Moshe Feinstein, who spent over an hour together with Rabbi Simcha Elberg. When he left, the Rebbe accompanied him till the door of Gan Eden HaTachton. I have heard that this meeting made big waves around the world. “Before him, armadas shall kneel,” until the fulfillment of the verse, “And the earth will be filled etc.”
Meanwhile, “Ah Gut Voch,” and we should hear from each other,
Tuvia
There may be a farbrengen for Yud-Aleph Nissan, but we still do not know.
A PEEK THROUGH THE REBBE’S WINDOW
BS”D. 10 Nissan, 5734.
Dear family,
How are you? And how are the preparations for Pesach, which is getting closer? Here, Boruch Hashem, everything is working out. Apparently, all the bachurim eat together on Pesach in a building not far from 770, and as is known, the Rebbe comes there on the first Seder night and wishes them “Gut Yom Tov” etc. Obviously, we have to clean the place up tip-top. Each bachur is required to put in six hours of work according to the schedule divided up by those in charge. I also obviously took part in the work, because it is better to have it done now than during the holiday and afterward.
I received matzos, which are really mehudar. This year, I will be eating matzos that I baked with my own hands for the first time. About one and a half kilo (three pounds) and I hope it will suffice. We still have to clean out the apartment that we are living in, but we have an easy job since it is a new apartment and there is not a lot of dirt. We got the cleaning implements from the yeshiva, so it is easy to do the job. If you recall the pails that the Americans use, which do not require bending down and squeezing out the wet cloth, since the pail does it for you.
Meanwhile, it is still not known if there will be a farbrengen. We are all hoping for it with great yearning. Yesterday, shluchim began arriving from all corners of the globe, since Yud Aleph Nissan is their day to be with the Rebbe, and so they all gather in 770. Obviously, they return to their places of shlichus for Pesach, and they come here for a short time. After Maariv yesterday, everyone thought that the Rebbe would go outside for Kiddush Levana, but they suddenly announced that the Rebbe is going home and not doing the sanctification now. The people immediately opened up a path, but they all remained standing in their places. Suddenly, from a side corner we heard the sound of singing from the shluchim who had arrived and were standing near the door. They began singing the well-known song [sung the previous year to words “Yifrach B’Yamav Tzaddik,” and for the next year they sang it] with the [added] verses at the end of chapter 73.
The Rebbe came out a few seconds later, saw what was going on, and as he walked with a broad smile on his holy face, he made the famous encouraging motions towards them with his hand and continued quickly towards the car. Again, as he walked, he raised his hand twice, and obviously the whole crowd joined in the work and continued the singing.
I must write to you about how on Sunday, when the Rebbe came out for Mincha, there were two women standing in the hallway, and the Rebbe came out and gave them a big smile and went inside to daven. They stood there also when he returned to his room after the davening. In answer to my question, I was told that they needed to amputate both feet from one of the women, and the Rebbe with his blessing saved one of her feet, and the other is made of plastic. Every two weeks, the entire family comes, the father and his son and daughter, along with the mother. The mother stands with her daughter who walks with crutches in the hallway of the Rebbe, in order to thank the Rebbe and receive strength for the next two weeks. This scene repeats itself every two weeks.
Every time one sees the Rebbe come in for davening, he receives an infusion of new energy and encouragement, each person in his own Divine service, and especially when one thinks a bit about who it is that is standing here. On the exterior, the Rebbe exerts himself not to display anything, and the following is what I was told by a friend. One evening, at about 11:20 pm, he passed on the street and the Rebbe’s window was open, so that the curtain blew upwards a bit and he saw the Rebbe standing next to the bookcase without a hat and jacket. There was a seifer on the table, and he was deeply engrossed in the seifer, and it was literally awesome to see his face. And so he toils day and night, but when he comes out he appears as if after a long rest.
Meanwhile, we will conclude with blessings for all good always and with blessings for a Chag Kosher V’sameiach, and with a shturem.
To hear from each other and to see each other here,
From me, Tuvia
P.S. Maidanchek arrived today along with other shluchim, as here is the source for the entire world, and they all gather here.
JOYFUL YUD ALEPH NISSAN FARBRENGEN
BS”D, Tuesday, first day of Chol HaMoed Pesach, Brooklyn, 770.
Dear parents and the whole family, many greetings!
How are you, and how did the first day of the holiday go, and the Erev Pesach that fell this year on Shabbos Kodesh?
Here, everything went very nicely, filled with impressions and experiences.
On Wednesday night following Yud Aleph Nissan, there was a farbrengen of which you certainly heard the substance of the sichos in the Holy Land. Especially, what the Rebbe screamed about “Mihu Yehudi,” regarding the verse “And Yisroel dwelt secure and solitary…” When is it “secure?” When it is “solitary!” Apparently, this is hinting to what is going to happen. This farbrengen was my first farbrengen in Beis Chayeinu, and I am constantly reminded of the dictum of the Sages, “There is no comparison etc., [between hearing and seeing],” when hearing through some speaker or when seeing it and living with it; [seeing] how the Rebbe comes in at the exact time and immediately begins the farbrengen. Before you catch on exactly to the ebb and flow of things, the Rebbe is already sitting and saying his sicha about “opening with blessing etc.”
In between, during the singing of the crowd, [seeing] how the Rebbe conducts the singing with movements of his head and hands, and with a beaming smile for everyone or directed at individual people here or there who have not yet said L’chaim, or to some baal t’shuva. It is possible to see how he knows and senses every single person in the large crowd. In the middle, the photographer appeared, and when he went up to take pictures, the Rebbe turned to him with a question, if he said L’chaim yet.
The chevra here say that since Tishrei there has not been such a joyous farbrengen, not even on Purim. Boruch Hashem I have had a good spot for the interim, since Elisha [Shochet] was not here and so I stood in his place. I hope to be able to stand there also on Acharon shel Pesach.
Meanwhile, the [previously mentioned] niggun sung by the shluchim from Los Angeles has become accepted, and you certainly heard the first song after the first sicha on the verses at the end, even though it doesn’t fit too well.
SEEING THE LEADER OF THE JEWISH WORLD DISTRIBUTE MATZOS
On Thursday evening, we saw the Rebbe draw water for the baking of the matzos, mayim sh’lanu. The whole crowd stands around and they pushed plenty. The Rebbe turned to those standing around him and said, “Halevai zohl men zich azoi shtupen tzum lernen [would that they would push like that for learning].”
The next day, Friday, we also saw the Rebbe at the burning of the chametz in the basement of the building, and how Binyamin Klein and Leibel Groner brought four bundles packed up and tied, and threw them in the fire. The Rebbe approached and threw in an envelope and after that the ten pieces with the spoon, as is customary. Afterward, he took the shovel and stirred three times in the fire, and said the customary “Yehi Ratzon.”
On Friday, they went to bake the matzos for the Rebbe, for about two and a half hours. First for the Rebbe himself, and after that they baked the matzos that he distributes to the crowd who come to receive matzos from the Rebbe’s hands. I merited winning the lottery to be among those who baked matzos for the Rebbe. There are bachurim who told me that they are here for a number of years already and have not done this yet, and I am here for a short time and I already merited this in this year.
When I returned to 770 at about 3 p.m., the Rebbe was already standing and distributing matzos, and the line was already long, stretching all the way to Kingston, behind those standing packed together the entire length of the woman’s section, with about ten people in each row! Once again, one can see the idea of the leader of the Jewish people, how rabbis, teachers, shochtim etc., “from your heads to your water carriers,” all stand in line. Each person brings his small children, and the Rebbe places two pieces of matzo into their hand (and some receive an entire matzo), and he wishes “Ah freilichin un kosheren Pesach [a happy and kosher Pesach].” Obviously, with this matzo, as R’ Dovid Raskin said, the Rebbe gives the power and spiritual channel that it should be “food of faith,” as well as “food of healing.”
THE REBBE’S VISIT
On Shabbos Kodesh, after Mincha, the Rebbe said the Hagada, and when he finished he stood up from his place and went to his room, as the crowd accompanied him with the song, “Al Achas Kama V’kama.”
On Pesach night after the davening, when he wished “Gut Yom Tov” to everyone, nodding with his head, he passed one of the children and waved hello to him with his hand like children do.
On Pesach night, the Rebbe has the custom of going to visit the bachurim. It is very interesting to see a Seder being conducted with such a large number of people, about 300 bachurim, arranged in perfect order and everything is in orderly fashion, clean and gleaming. Each table has two orderlies, so that within five minutes the meat or fish is served to all of the bachurim, without it taking a few hours.
The Rebbe entered the dining hall of the bachurim, accompanied by the secretaries, Groner, Chadakov, Klein, and others. He looked over every nook and cranny in the kitchen, in the pantry etc. He also looked a bit at the ke’aros of the bachurim, and even pointed out that the candles should stand together, meaning one right next to the other, for the purpose of the blessing on the candles. Upon his return, he stood and gave a blessing, “Since Pesach is the ‘time of our freedom’ even relative to Shabbos, even relative to Shabbos HaGadol and Erev Pesach that falls out on Shabbos, may it be ‘the coming year in Yerushalayim,’ and the freedom should be drawn forth for the entire year.”
Afterward, he went to visit Hadar HaTorah and Machon Chana, and there he wished all of them to merit holding the Seder in her own home.
The holiday prayers went very nicely with various chazanim, with each one trying to showcase his abilities as they incorporated various tunes into their prayers, with the crowd accompanying them. The Rebbe conducts this singing from his place, with his hand movements on the lectern. The same was for the Priestly Blessing during Musaf. The entire crowd stands under talleisim, facing over three hundred Kohanim. During those moments, you feel like you are standing in the Beis HaMikdash.
Meanwhile, I will conclude with the blessing for a kosher and happy holiday, and as the Rebbe blessed us, “and we should merit eating from the Pesach offerings and the other [holiday] offerings, and in Nissan they will be redeemed in the future,” may it be in this Nissan.
To hear from each other,
Tuvia
FIRST SEUDAS MOSHIACH WITH THE REBBE
BS”D, Motzaei second day Yom Tov of the exiles, 5734.
Dear family, many greetings.
The time is now 4:50 in the early morning hours of Monday. The farbrengen ended about an hour ago, which in truth was actually what is known as Seudas Moshiach.
The entire scene is still before my eyes, along with the powerful impression that it makes upon every one of those huddled under this roof, be they the honored elder Chassidim or the young ones, young married men, chassanim or bachurim, and obviously on the children, and more so, on the youngest ones, who are pulled in after their fathers and stand in place for hours on end.
The simcha is palpable during the singing, with the Rebbe conducting it with his head and hand movements, and each time adds new energy. And above all else is the glance of the Rebbe as he glances all around him, at each one individually. The beautiful eyes look inside, and penetrate the heart of the person who meets that inner and meaningful gaze. Such a look has great power to straighten the convolutions of the heart, and together with the graceful smile upon the lips of this great man, they give great hope even for those whose fortunes are harsh, and their power is mighty enough to arouse even a broken and downtrodden heart.
From time to time, he turns to someone to inquire as to why he has not yet said L’chaim, or to someone else to get him to join the singing, and the sounds of joy is heard from all corners of the hall, coming from the singers with volume and verve. This is especially so when the Rebbe claps his hands, at which time, understandably, this reaches a peak of boundless joy. Occasionally, he passes the handkerchief across his large and broad forehead.
We all participated in this meal, at the beginning of which someone announced that whoever had not yet washed his hands should go and do so [as per the known custom], and we also had the four cups as is customary, three of which, on this occasion we got to drink in a positive manner [i.e., having been directed to do so by the Rebbe himself]. Namely, the first cup was when the Rebbe asked that all those who participated in Tahalucha say L’chaim, and the second was when the sicha touched upon the subject of yeshiva bachurim, at which point all of the bachurim from all of the yeshivos said L’chaim.
The third cup was when the Rebbe said a special sicha about the k’vutza which just came from Eretz Yisroel, at the conclusion of which he turned to them to say L’chaim. I happened to be standing in Elisha’s place, so that the first indication was directed at me when R’ Mentlick turned to the bachurim to say L’chaim. While I was still standing there frozen etc., the Rebbe turned to me and signaled with his hand to say L’chaim, and then of course to the rest of the bachurim.
Afterward, he also requested that we start a niggun from Eretz Yisroel, and until we managed to get ourselves together after the initial hesitation, the Rebbe began the niggun “Hoshia Es Amecha,” which had been brought on an earlier occasion from “the songs of the land.” Again, he turned especially in the direction of the k’vutza and towards me, with his head and hand motions.
In the sicha to the students of the k’vutza, he spoke about how you need to know why and for what you left Eretz Yisroel, as the prohibition to do so does not apply only when the Torah study is in the manner as written by the Rambam, to learn Torah etc. in every free moment, and only then is it permitted to leave to go outside of the land, [and this has to be] without any clever interpretations etc.
At the end of the farbrengen, the Rebbe led the bentching over a Kos and then made Havdala on it, and the distribution of Kos Shel Bracha began, which went on for two hours. All the while, the bachurim remain standing at their posts singing, and from time to time, the Rebbe raises the excitement level. Now too, the Rebbe addresses each individual according to his issues, and to some he gives a bottle of wine, such as to directors of institutions and the like. At the end, the bachurim approached to receive Kos Shel Bracha, and I among them. Aside from my own cup, I extended two other cups, one especially for Abba, and one for the whole family, and I hope to send it with the returning k’vutza who will return to Eretz Yisroel next week.
So that is how the days of the holiday passed once again very nicely. The last portion of the holiday also extended for two days, but it literally is beyond notice [even for someone used to only one day], since there is no time for extraneous thinking. Now, there is davening with the Rebbe and then a meal, and now, you have to manage to fill in all of your regular learning obligations and then run again to davening, and so the time passes fleetingly and “you can grab in a lot.” In truth, the path that Abba apparently paved for our family is quite important, namely to jump into a shul in the area where you can find yourself in a calm and quiet space [for learning], and to get out of the tumult for a bit.
WARM RECEPTION FROM THE RABBI
On the day of Shabbos Kodesh [the seventh day of Pesach] after Mincha, we went out on Tahalucha after the first groups who had already set out in other directions to Flatbush or Boro Park, or even in the direction of [where we were going] to Williamsburg. Hundreds of people were marching and dancing the whole way, accompanied by the “Kingdom of Heaven” and the “kingdom of earth.” It is literally visible to the eye, how all along the way “the trees of the wood clap hands.” Every place that we passed, people were looking out at us from windows big and small, both Jews and blacks, seeing how their streets have come alive with the large crowd who are going on the shlichus of the leader of our generation.
When we got to Williamsburg, we split up to the shuls in the area. I and a few others went to a certain shul where we were greeted by the rabbi who was in middle of giving a talk. At the end, he turned to us and said that we must certainly be the emissaries of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who have come to honor us with a talk about the significance of the holiday. It was truly nice. One of us got up and read, with great enthusiasm, the letter that the Rebbe wrote for Pesach. Afterward, I had time to go into the main area of the beis midrash of Satmar. They were holding exactly at the conclusion of the “third meal,” and I davened Maariv there.
It is a very nice shul, the length is about the same as ours [770] is now [after the expansion], but the width is as big as the length. The hall was filled from end to end. I went upstairs and could see the Admur and his Chassidim. Despite everything, it is somewhat enjoyable to see the atmosphere of “Mea Sh’arim” in middle of the United States, but each according to his path. After the Admur got up from the tish until Maariv, I had around twenty people around me and we talked about the outreach activities of Chabad. In truth, we were received pleasantly, and at the end each one came over to wish “Gut Yom Tov” etc.
On the way back, we also went with singing etc., actually an interesting and impressive experience.
For now, we will conclude our letter with regards to all of you, and regards to the grandmothers.
To hear from each other and to see each other soon,
Tuvia
HOPING TO HEAR A REVIEW
Monday
Tonight there was yechidus, due to the guests who came for the holidays.
There has not yet been a “review” from Reb Yoel Kahan, and I am hoping (as he told me today) that tomorrow night he will review the sichos, and with Hashem’s help I will try to write at least a synopsis of the farbrengen of Acharon Shel Pesach. From my memory alone, I still don’t want to commit it to writing. I will include with this letter the sicha of Parshas Shmini [i.e., the weekly Likkutei Sichos] which came out in print; in Eretz Yisroel it seems that they have not been printing them since Parshas P’kudei, since for the moment there is no one to do it.
* * *
To my brothers Henoch and Dovid,
I was reminded now of how those who were here once wrote to you, about how you can see that the Rebbe knows literally everything, and I mean everything, by heart, and still reads every word and every prayer from the siddur, and even Aleinu and such. We saw this yesterday, how the Rebbe recites the Birkas HaMazon from the siddur and how he pronounces each word with added emphasis. And I am certain that since you are also preparing to come here, that this is something that you can begin with, in order to prepare.
May we hear from each other,
from your brother who loves you,
Tuvia
OPEN MIRACLE AT KOS SHEL BRACHA
Sunday, Parshas Tazria-Metzora, 5734.
Dear parents and my honorable family, many greetings!
Herewith, I am attaching the synopsis of the sichos of Acharon Shel Pesach, which I hope will provide for some understanding. It took me a lot of time, and I only finished on Friday. Apparently it takes time to become accustomed to the process, especially as there was no organized review and it was necessary to grab a word from here and a word from there, and some to be copied from the notes of others and the like. But the idea of doing it is worthwhile, in and of itself, since the material will remain afterward in my memory.
I also wrote the sichos of Shabbos Kodesh, but not all of them, and as I wrote in the letter containing the notes, you will surely hear verbally from those who do the review on the upcoming Wednesday.
Here, there is always news. The very fact that it is possible to see the Rebbe every day, which adds strength, energy, and vitality; there is no greater novelty than that. Last Thursday, he went to the Ohel, and the people guessed that it was in place of Erev Rosh Chodesh, but today again, he went to the Ohel, and so days upon days in succession he is fasting etc., and yet there is always the constant forcefulness and speedy walking etc.
It was really interesting this past Shabbos, how the entire crowd accompanied the Rebbe after the farbrengen until close to his house. They were led by the singing children, as the Rebbe smiles at them, spurring them on, and gets them excited. He wishes a “Gut Shabbos” to every passerby. At the turns at the corners, where the police are standing, he salutes them as he walks towards them. “And they looked after Moshe, until he entered the tent.”
Last week, there was yechidus. Among the others, Yosef Y. Ginsburg, one of the members of the kollel in Kfar Chabad, went in, and the Rebbe sent him to be a rav in Kfar Yona near Netanya. He is a youthful and talented young man, and the Rebbe even added that he should learn the laws of sh’chita and in addition to the laws of small animals he should also learn the laws of large animals, because it will be necessary for him at some point, although who knows when.
On Motzaei the holiday, during the Kos Shel Bracha, among the thousands of people, the Rebbe gave one of the bachurim, of Georgian origin, from the Kos Shel Bracha, then gave him a small bottle of wine and told him to cook it and send it to his father in Eretz Yisroel. He took it without question, but with some wonderment as to what it was about, since he is already a year and a half by the Rebbe, and this is the first time that the Rebbe addressed him and gave him a bottle without him asking.
Lo and behold, he received a letter from Eretz Yisroel on Thursday night, saying that on the last day of Chol HaMoed there was a car accident. In the car were his father and mother and their mechutanim and one other person, and they all had come out with minor injuries. They were in shock and were taken to the hospital, but everything was fine. That is when it became known what the Kos Shel Bracha after the holiday was about. This bachur was one in a crowd of thousands, and who knows and understands all these things. Also, due to the abundance in spirituality, there is literally no time to think about material matters.
We entered the new learning semester with an elevated spirit, which by the way does not begin on Rosh Chodesh Iyar, but on the day after Isru Chag. Right away at the beginning, the zal was full from end to end with the discussion of Torah etc. It is very geshmak to sit in this zal.
(Free translation from the t’shura distributed at the wedding of R’ Yona Elimelech and Esther Malka Zilberstrom)